And a happy New Year too!

I've never been one to make a new years resolution. I always disappointed myself within the first two weeks of January, and failed to see the point of that after awhile.

I've changed my mind for 2009. I have goals. I have areas of my life that I am not at all happy with, and I am in the right frame of mind to set forth and make the changes I need to make to get me back to a happier place.

These things are:

1. getting back to a healthier weight. I've let myself eat like crap lately, and I can feel it really effecting me. I don't like it. I also don't like how I look in my clothes, and that's important to me. So, a new year, a new weight loss journey. I might start a new blog to keep a food journal on, or I might do it on here...not sure yet :) Either way, I need to be accountable for what goes into my mouth, and subsequently onto my ass and tummy and thighs... and I think I'll let the internet help me with that :) My Ultimate goal would be to get down to 130 pounds. I'll be satisfied with 135-140. I'm currently 157. Blah.

2. I'm going to put some serious work into some of my friendships. And do my best to put some distance between K and I. I talked to Al about this, and I think that he and I need some Couples friends. We know a couple of couples, and I think I'd like to build on those relationships.

3. I need a vacation. One where we maybe even leave the province!! Imagine that :) I don't really know where, but we'll figure it out :) I'd like to explore more of Canada, so I'm thinking a road trip to PEI, or Nova Scotia. We've never taken a family vacation that didn't involve camping. Although...I would love to take my family camping at Neys Provincial Park. It's so beautiful up there. The most beautiful camping ever.

I think that's a good start. Here's to hoping I can focus my life in those directions and make it happen. To make myself happier.

Merry Christmas to Us!!

So, a couple years ago, when we were renting the house we are living in, my landlord called and told us that he was going to sell the house. I panicked a little inside, and then just resigned myself to the fact that I better start looking for somewhere to live. And then I casually mentioned it to my Dad. He gave me proper hell for not telling him sooner. And promised to find a way to help us by this house. :o And he did. Since Al and I couldn't get a mortgage on our own. (Bad timing, my income was too low, credit scores blah blah blah)

Fast forward two years. My Dad starts talking about how he's going to retire this year. And then the hinting about selling us the house, and then the outright asking if we thought we were in a better financial place to buy the house when he retires. So, we asked around, and most people said HAHAHAHAHA. No. Except probably in a slightly nicer way than that :)

Finally we get in touch with a Broker, and he seems to get the ball moving a little faster than we could. But it was still taking Forever!! Until one day when Al was talking to his co-workers wife. She works for a Credit Union, and told Al to give her a call. So we did. And boy, did the ball roll once we got in touch with the right person at Meridian!!

Because!!

WE GOT A MORTGAGE!!! A GOOD ONE!!

I am SO happy :D Al and I signed the papers on the 18th of December. Guess when my Dad retired??? On the 20th :) I was able to get a copy of the mortgage papers and put them inside the card I got my Dad. I seriously thought he was going to cry when he realized what I had given him! :) And then he went around the room telling his friends that he sold a house! That his Kid (He always calls me Kid :)) got a mortgage, so now he could really retire. (Just to clarify, my Dad held the mortgage, but we still paid for everything :) Which was what drove me nuts about the banks. Because I knew we could handle a mortgage/house, since we'd been doing it for 2 years!!)

I think for us, what the very best part, after seeing my Dad's face, is the fact that with the mortgage, we're able to pay of about 90% of our debts. The van will be paid off, the credit cards will be paid, the huge consolidated loan we did for Al's student loans will be paid. So even though the mortgage is going to be a little higher each month, our expenses are going WAY down. It's going to be a nice feeling to be free from those expenses every month!!

I'm SOOO going to buy a stove as fast as I can!! Mine was free, and served me fairly well, but it's kind of a lousy stove, and if I am going to continue to sell my cakes and bakes, I really need a decent stove. So, that's my goal, a stove and a new floor in the living room to start :)

That's what we've been doing :) It feels nice to feel like a grown up :)

A Funny :)

I was doing a craft with the kids a few days ago. Handprint Santa's. They look like THIS and are a Huge hit with the Grandparent crowd :) So, I get everyone painted and dipped and all that fun. And then my Mom called. Before I had a chance to clean up the mess. So, I chatted for a few minutes with her, and hung up. Mason comes to stand beside me, watching me from the corner of his eye, with a finger at the ready, waiting to touch the paint that has been left out. I told him to leave it alone. And then I told him not to touch it. And then I said NO! He tried one last time to touch the paint.

I looked at him and said, "Mason, Mommy said NO!"

He looked at me and said "Mason. Said. YES!"

And then he touched the paint.

And then I let him fingerpaint because dude, that was FUNNY! :) And so smart of him.

And I am SO. Screwed! :)

Needed to push the pause button for a minute there...

I know it's been ages since I last blogged. But I just didn't know what to say, or where to start, so I figured it was time for a mini vacation from blogging. No biggie, just a break.

There's been a lot going on. Most of it centering around Mason, but some on the rest of us too. I'll try to touch on it all, but can't guarantee it :)

I had a meeting with Mason's resource teacher on December 4th. We were about halfway through when she told me that she highly recommended we get Mason tested for Autism. I feel like I'm beating a dead horse here. I know I keep going back and forth between yes he does and no he doesn't have it. And I can't make up my mind. I won't beat that horse again. I'm getting him assessed. Al disagrees. He says he doesn't see it. And that's fine. I only see little bits here and there, so I'm still clinging to the hope that it's something else. But, I've come to the realization that if Mason is Autistic, that we won't love him any less, we won't leave him on the street corner, and we will only have to alter our way of thinking, not how we feel about him. And really, a diagnosis will open doors for him and us that maybe wouldn't have opened for a mere speech delay before. So it's not all a bad thing.

I'm seen a story a couple of times, regarding having a child with disabilities. It's perfect, I'll find it and post it later. But basically, it's about how you plan your dream vacation to Italy, but when your plane lands, you're in Holland. You can't go back to Italy, so you eventually have to realize that Holland, though not what you planned, is what you got, and in it's own way, it's beautiful too. That's pretty much where I am right now. I've just realized that my plane may be headed to Holland, and I can't convince the pilot to change course. It's a scary feeling. But one that I am slowly learning to accept.

I feel guilty because I worked for such a long time with children who have Autism. And I didn't really see it...except that I did. I've wondered since Mason was a baby if he was a little different than other babies. Maybe he was a little too quiet. Maybe he was a little too calm. Maybe he was a little too slow at this or that. I think because of all that, I'll actually be kinda relieved to get an answer finally.

On a brighter note, Mason has had two sessions with a new speech therapist. We Love her!! She can read Mason so well. And instead of the therapist and I struggling to get Mason to sit at the table and do anything, she can get him to sit for a GOOD 45 minutes and get a tonne of work out of him. I'm so impressed by her!! I'm a little disappointed that we aren't getting more than 3 sessions (Last one is today) but at least we're seeing some progress for the first time in months, and I am grateful for that.

So, back to that pause button... I guess with everything going on with Mason, and it all hanging over my head, and out in Limbo, I just didn't know how to get the words out. And like I said quite awhile ago, it wasn't my intention for this blog to turn into an "OMG there's something wrong with my baby" blog. But you know what. There is something. Something that makes him different. Something that makes him like routines so much it seems to hurt him to stray from them. Something that makes him not like me touching him any time I want. Something that makes him unable to voice his thoughts in an intelligent way to me. Something that makes it hard for him to make consistent eye contact. Something that makes it hard for him to respond to his name. Something that made him line up toy after toy this weekend. Something that makes him not understand social cues, and social behaviour. Something that is now making other people stand up and say hey...we need to get some professionals in here to take a look at this boy. Something that has possibly put me on a plane to Holland.

So. That's where we are with that.

And for me. I had my birthday recently. It was great. Just a couple friends over. A couple bottles of wine. And non-stop talking for Hours. I loved it :) However, what I didn't love was the fact that my so-called best friend pretty much did all the talking. About herself, and all her troubles, and oh woe is me all night long. There were only 4 of us there. She had never met the other two. We were all talking about difficult things at times, but it felt like she was always trying to one up us when anyone said anything. And that did it for me. She's not a good friend to me. Sure she'll take my kids if I'm in a pinch. And sure she can be a blast at times. But she's also very toxic, and I don't enjoy being around her like I used to be. So I think I'm finally breaking some ties with her. She lives right next door to me, and our boys are best friends, so I know I can't just do a disappearing act, but I can keep my distance, and guard my thoughts. And that's what I intend to do.

I had a great weekend this past weekend. We went as a family to have dinner with one of my daycare Mom's. She's so wonderful. And we had Such a great time, we stayed until 1AM, and Aidan even stayed for a sleepover! And then Saturday night we went to a much posher event, involving a lot of people that I didn't know, and a lot of really good red wine :) The kids got to play together, and decorate gingerbread men, and it was so fun!! I talked with other men and women that I maybe wouldn't have before. We had great conversations. It was just a really great evening. And those two evenings made me realize that friendship can be so much deeper that what I have right now. And that I deserve SO much better. And so does Al. He doesn't deserve to put up with my friends treating he and I like dirt whenever the mood strikes. I want him to be just as happy about me going out with my friends as I am. And I don't have that with K. So. I'm moving on :)

Jenna and Aidan are both doing really well. And I guess that's all I have to say about them :)

Al's a bit stressed about work, because the labour board was in and so now the big boss is making changes and cracking down. Al has nothing to worry about, since his record is squeaky clean. But still. It can't be easy to work there. I'm so proud of him for carrying on though. He's great at his job, doesn't put up with the bullshit, and for the most part, doesn't complain much :)

So that's us. I'm on a plane to Holland, the family with me, and I'm bringing along some new friends. Time to push play again.