We're Home!! With a BOY!!

Hehehe...I won the bet...$50 coming my way :)

And the bonus is, he's the cutest thing :)

My birth experience was a fairly good one. It's so different to be so wide awake and alert during a c-section than to wait through 16 hours of labour, only to practically sleep through the birth during a section :) Downside to this one was that the spinal made me very very sick :( Non-stop vomiting for about 10 hours :P Poor Mason didn't even get a name for about 12 hours, because I couldn't hold him, or focus on him well enough to figure out what/who he looked like. Although, as soon as I saw him, I was calling him Mason in my head...so I was pretty sure that's what it was going to be. I was just trying to feel out Al to see if we would finally agree this time! And it's funny you know, after all the fighting I did to name him Devon, he realllllllly doesn't even Look like a Devon to me LOL...or a Carter, or a Cole(the other name we took with us to the hospital as an alternate to Mason) As my best friend Carry put it so well, "He's much to 'International Man of Mystery' to be anything but a Mason." And it's true. His name suits him perfectly.

And on a funny side note...the only hold-back I've had since discussing the name Mason MONTHS ago, was that I really thought people would be like "Mason??As in like, Mason Jar??" I don't handle that kind of thing well...and take it very personally. I didn't want to give my son a teasable name. ANYWAY! I mentioned it to my mom the night before Mason was born, and as it turns out, she loved it!! And while she did think of the jars, didn't care!! woohoo. SO! Onto the funny part. "Mason" is a jar company. Jars for canning, and making jams and preserves and such right? Well, my children, Jenna, Aidan and Mason, when you take the first letters of their names, spell JAM!! How hilarious is that!? I couldn't resist :)

Anyway. So my hospital stay was good. Mason was a great nurser. It's amazing to me that I never needed the nurses to supplement him with any formula :) I'm so stinkin' proud of that!!! He did lose 10% of his body weight, which was saddening to me. But, the last night night we were there he gained back 1.5 ounces!! My milk came in. And i had the best night nurse the whole time I was there, who made sure she woke us up to feed, and brought ice water with her often so that I wouldn't have trouble with my milk. her name was Lorraine. I'll never forget her :)

Jenn and Julie came to visit us in the hospital. They brought the best gifts :) Snacks :) All my favourites too, Popcorn, Pringles, Chocolate, and Crystal Light, so I didn't have to suffer with plain water all the time :) Oh! And a Cosmo...but I already had that one...figures. I TOLD Al I should get the People! LOL Mason also got a very cute mouse teether, and a great little outfit :) I am so blessed to have such wonderful friends...who do too much, and mean so much more to me and my family. Thank you both.

We got to come home on Friday. And of course, that was when the nursing troubles started. My nipples are so sore :'( I'm even thinking of going to the breastfeeding clinic tomorrow to have them help me with my latch. he's got such a tiny little dainty mouth...and a man sized suck to go with it. But I am so determined this time...we'll work through this :) I had the same problems with Jenna and Aidan, and I gave up with Jenna, and nursed Aidan for about 13 months. i know I can be successful this time too. Bring on the Lansinoh!!!

He's a great sleeper. I have to wake him to feed him!! never had to do that before!! Last night was rough. I woke up at 1, and should have fed him, but decided to give us both 1 more hour. and then woke up 3 hours later with a couple of boulders in my bra! OUCH! I won't be trying to get any extra sleep from now on LOL.

It's my own darn fault I'm tired you know. At 4 am I nursed him, and then even though he fell asleep after a few minutes, I couldn't put him down. he looked so perfect in the soft light. And of course, since he could smell me, he kept waking up more to eat LOL...so I kept putting him to sleep and staring some more :) I finally made myself put him back in his bed at 5am :)

The kids are doing AWESOME with him!!! A little bit of jealousy, but no more than I expected. As long as Aidan gets some extra cuddles with mommy, and Jenna gets to hold Mason a few times a day, we're doing pretty good.

Al has been SO amazing. Letting me have my little crying fits (exhaustion + baby blues :)). Letting me rest. Banning me from the stairs when he could see that I was doing way too much going up and down. All the cooking and cleaning (Bless that man!) . he wouldn't even let me do the dishes last night! He makes me realize over and over why I married him. He's so good to me.

So, all in all, becoming a family of Five, and a Mother of Three hasn't been as emotionally, and physically draining as I had imagined it would. Of course, Al is still here with me 24/7 to help when I need it...so I imagine I'll change my tune in a couple weeks when he goes back to work :)

Thanks to all for your love and support these past 9 months. It's meant SO much more to me than I could ever express.

~Lisa~

You'd think it was the end of the world!!

All morning, all the thoughts going through my head have revolved around "lasts" as in, "this is the last time I will share a bagel with Jenna for awhile." "this is the last time I'll have trouble shaving my legs." "This is the last time I'll be able to wear this bra for awhile." Ugh! It's so crazy what goes through your head at times like this.

It's too quiet in here. The kids are at their baby sitters. I just stopped home for lunch, and then I'll go get them. My last few moments of solitude. Seems silly, but all I really want to do is cry. For all the moments I am going to miss with my kids over the next few days. For all the laughs I'll miss with my husband. For not knowing how Aidan is going to react to Mommy being gone for so many days. For not knowing how hard it really is going to be for Jenna to know that I'm in the hospital...without her. For having to hear the funny stories through a telephone line. For wondering how my friggin' CAT is going to be while I am away.

Okay..gonna go dust to take my mind off of things for awhile.

~Lisa~

WOOHOO!!

JENNA STAYED IN HER BED!!!!! All night long!! Didn't even get up to pee!!! Of course, it probably helped that she stayed up until about 9:30 :( But man, it was so nice to have the room to ourselves last night.

I paid lots of attention to her before bed last night. We made a craft for her baby sitter since it's their last day there for a little while, and then I read her a story in her bed. So, hopefully if we continue the bedtime story routine, she'll be more comfortable in her room, and stay there. Pray for us LOL.

It was kinda funny, she got up this morning at 6:30(Another woohoo in itself!) and went to the bathroom. As soon as she saw that I was awake, she said to me "I stayed in my bed ALL NIGHT! Can I have a Pony and a sleepover?" LOL...it's all about the prize when you're four :)

~Lisa~

All my bags are packed...

But I'm not sure I'm ready to go...

I mean, I am TOTALLY ready to not be pregnant anymore, but I'm not too sure I'm ready to be a mommy to a newborn again :)

We are however, more ready around here, finally. The kids are both moved into their new rooms. Jenna still won't sleep in there, much to my dismay. I need to find some huge reinforcer for her...even the promise of My Little Ponies wouldn't keep her in there last night. I awoke to find her on my floor yet again. On the other hand, Aidan is doing great! He went down no problem last night, and only needed one extra cuddle visit from Daddy to get him sleeping this afternoon...what a relief!

I need to tidy up my room before my mom arrives, and give the downstairs a good once over, but other than that...I think we're ready.

I am going to miss my family so much this week. I keep telling my mom to call me with any questions she has about the kids while she's here, and she keeps replying with "They'll be fine, don't you worry" I finally told her that it would make ME feel better if she would call...but I still don't know if she will. She's not as much of a stickler for routine as I am with my kids...so coming back home is probably going to be hell, despite the list of their daily routine I am leaving for her. As much as I love my mom, I wish there was another option for this week.

Al and I had a good night last night. Since we didn't get to go out for our Anniversary we decided to buy a new movie (guess who) and cuddled up on the couches together and snacked :) It was probably better than going out. We need to do that more often.

I still can't believe this baby is going to be here in 2 days from now. But I really am looking forward to it...in my own terrified way :) Hmm...I think I'll go bug Al about boy names.

~Lisa~

So tired.

So very very tired.

Between being a rather uncomfortable 38 weeks pregnant, and having a four year old that will NOT stay in her bed, I am soooo exhausted.

I don't know what to do about Jenna. We made her this fabulous new room, and she's afraid of it! She got out of bed about a dozen times before finally staying in there, and briefly falling asleep. Then, at 12:30, I roll over, and she's sleeping on my floor. I didn't have the energy to move her back(stupid me, way to stick your guns mom). Next thing I know she's up and walking around. So, between 3:30 and 5:30 I sent her back to bed 4 times!!!

I'm so tired I want to cry!!! I can't have her coming in and out of my room at all hours of the night when the baby is there. I'll never get ANY sleep...and this momma does NOT do well on no sleep.

I'm starting to hope that the baby is a girl. Because then I'll put Jenna BACK into her old room. Aidan can stay where he is, and the baby can have the nice new beautiful girly room. But ya know what, I bet a million bucks that wouldn't work either.

WAHHHH!!!!!

~Lisa~

Ahh, Dear Sweet Henry.

He almost made me cry today. First, a little background.

Every morning I arrive at Henry's house. And every morning Henry gives me his list of reasons for why he "Doesn't want to work today". The most common are that he's too sick, or he's too tired, and he wants to sleep with me, and not do work today. My favourite was when he told me, "I'm too expensive Lisa, you can't afford me today" Oh what a laugh Jenny(mom) and I got from that one!! So, that's our usual morning greeting. Today was no different. Other than I think he might actually have not been feeling well this time :). And he ALWAYS tells me he doesn't want to see the animals (Which are on the back of my Alphabet flash cards...and have nothing to do with his programs.)

At lunch time today, Jenny told him that this was my last week. That next week, the baby was going to come out, and they would visit me and the baby in the hospital. Oh how he cried. He said he was too sad that he couldn't work with me anymore. He said he didn't know brown yet. He said he wanted to see the animals every day.

I'm going to miss him. He's the funniest kid I know(Next to my own of course!).

D'you know, he pretends to be me?? He'll sit his mom and dad down, and show them pictures of trains. And he'll say to them "Okay mom, what colour is Thomas?" "Blue" "Very good mom!" And he does it all the time!! Recently he told me that HE wanted to be the teacher. And he did, he laid out the colour cards, and asked me which was which.

He's so special.

~Lisa~

snuggles snuggles snuggles

I was one lucky momma last night :) First was Aidan. I took him upstairs to put him to bed, and he patted the rocking chair. So, i picked him up, sat down, and he just laid his little head on my chest and dozed off. It was such a nice, warm feeling. Nothing like it.

Next was Jenna. I came down from putting Aidan to bed, and sat next to her on the couch. Where she promptly snuggled up next to me. And stayed there until her movie was over. I could still smell the berry shampoo in her hair. It was so great. I love these moments I am getting with my kids before the baby arrives.

Al was called in to do a truck rollover last night. He didn't get home until around midnight. I was long sleeping by then. But, when he climbed into bed, he put his arm around me and snuggled up close too. And stayed that way for the longest time.

I am so lucky to have a family that snuggles me. It's my most favourite feeling in the world.

~Lisa~

We survived!!

The kids and I made it through our week together. With minimal bruising, some laughs, some tears, and some memories :) PHEW!!

We spent lots of time outside on Monday. Tuesday was a wonderful visit with Auntie Carry(oops, forgot to post pics!) Wednesday was a trip to WalMart, and lots more playing and reading stories. Thursday was great fun for the kids. They went with me to my OB appointment...and were ANGELS!! I was shocked :) And so proud of them, considering we had to wait 45 minutes for the doctor to come back from doing a c-section. And Friday was Value Village, and the bank. So, we managed to find lots of things to occupy our time. I'm so glad I got to have this last week with my TWO kids, before it turns into THREE kids.

I'm not gonna want to go back to work on Monday LOL...at least it's only for a week. Then I get my vacation HA...4 days of hospital food, a bed that's not mine, and sore nipples (sorry) woohoo...what a vacation.

Well, at least the kids will have fun(Oh GOD how I hope) with Grandma.

~Lisa~

I hope she learns from him.

From the nicest older man. Who had never met my daughter. But who offered her a dollar to buy a silly hat.

I wish there were more people like that left in the world. I wish we could trust others more. I wish i could let my kids out to play and not have to be within 5 feet of them at all times. I wish I didn't have to teach about stranger danger. I wish more people could have seen the kindness given to my daughter. I wish kindness like that wasn't so foreign to her.

I wish she knew how freakin' cute she looks in that silly hat :)

~Lisa~

There's something to be said about communication.

So, after a comment Al made last weekend, I have been completely stressed out. crying at the drop of the hat, not the best of mothers, and definitely not the best of wives.

Basically, he said that he wasn't going to be taking off the two weeks after the baby was born that I had spent the past 9 months expecting him to. I freaked out. I cried so hard I couldn't speak. And when I managed to stop, I couldn't find the strength to explain to Al what was upsetting me.

So, I spent the week trying to figure out ways of living life with three kids, and managing to not damage myself in the process. A c-section incision is not really something to mess around with
:(

But all this time, I couldn't bring myself to tell him how I felt. Not that he's hard to talk to, because he usually isn't. It was just that I have a hard time opening up like that...admitting that I might have a problem. So, I sent him an email. And I poured out my heart. I told him every single concern and thought and feeling I was having.

And then I waited...the guy didn't check his email for 2 frickin' days while I worried away! LOL

I finally got up the nerve to tell him about it, and then sat beside him as he read it. And ya know what...I shouldn't have worried at all. He was SO understanding, and supportive. He outlined his plans, and really put my mind at ease.

I'm going to have the help I need...from the person I need it from the most. I couldn't be happier.

I'll have to try this email thing more often :) Although...in the process of the evening, I also discovered he reads my blog...LOL...even had it secretly bookmarked! So maybe venting here in cyberspace will really be a blessing in our marriage :)

~Lisa~

A word from the wise...

Never decide to take on redecorating your 4 year old daughter's new room while 8-9 months pregnant, in the hottest summer EVER.

Especially when your husband often works late, and doesn't enjoy painting so much :)

Good grief I'll be so happy when this room is DONE!!!

Okay, just came down for a bottle of water...back at it I go.

~Lisa~

Why can't he be a neat freak??

Even if just in the garage? I can't get in there AT ALL! And it's driving me crazy. There are so many baby clothes that I need to be sorting and washing, and I can't get to them without endangering my life. Ugh!

It drives me crazy that he just opens the door, and sets whatever he's adding to the pile RIGHT THERE!! Take TWO minutes, find a home for whatever it is. And then there won't be a PROBLEM!

It dawned on me when going through the small amount of baby clothes in my closet that if I have a boy...my boys will have been born in totally different seasons! And I have NO idea what I have that might do for a summer boy.

WAH!!!

~Lisa-Who is very happy to have started blogging. But worries that anyone who reads it is going to think of me as one huge complainer. :(~

2 Weeks!!

In about 2 weeks and one hour, I will be holding The Bean!! Well, probably looking at the bean anyway :) Darn c-section recovery period.

The countdown is really on now :)

I got quite a bit done yesterday. Jenna's closet is tidied(A chore and a half in itself...she's such a GIRL!) and I sorted through her summer clothes, and bagged up what she hasn't worn all summer, and probably won't.

I got the grass cut...well, no, that's a bold faced lie. I got the weeds and dirt in the back yard cut. Damn lousy yard :( I even managed the energy to yank out some weeds from my so-called garden! My mom will be so shocked lol.

I also managed to fit in some painting in Jenna's new room. It's starting to seem like it's NEVER going to get done :( I really wanted to move her in there before The Bean arrived...not so sure now. Al spilled paint on the carpet, and we have to replace it. Thank goodness for Ikea, and their 1.09/sq ft laminate!! She's definitely going to have the nicest room in the house now.

I also made a yummy dinner, and got the dishes done(Although admittedly with Al's help :))

OH! And laundry! I got a bunch of that done too! Phew. No wonder I was asleep on the couch by 9:30!!

No more contractions came from it though. Oh well...the baby must know that I have A LOT more to do still lol.

~Lisa~

And the week begins...

Well, I get to enjoy(?) one whole week with my children this week. Henry is in camp, and the babysitter is away at her cottage for the week.

Today, we have no plan. No direction. No nothing. ACK!

Tomorrow we are heading over to Auntie Carry's to visit with her and her twins. I am SO excited about that. Carry has been my best friend since high school. She's the friend that you can go months without talking to, and then pick right up where you left off from :) She's fabulous. I'm keeping this secret until tomorrow, in order to avoid the million and one times Jenna would ask "Are we going to Auntie Carry's yet?"

Wednesday, no plan.

Thursday morning I have an OB appointment. Get to drag the kids with me to that. Oh joy.

Friday, no plan.

I do have a lot to do around here, so I know that I won't be bored. It's the kids I worry about.

Pray for my sanity and strength!

~Lisa~

Whew...almost...

I was Almost convinced that I was in labour tonight! Lots of painful contractions at dinner, and throughout the grocery store. Ranging from 5-15 minutes apart.

I'm wondering if the baby is posterior like Jenna was. I felt A LOT of pain in my back with each contraction. Not fun.

But alas, we came home, put away the groceries, and I went and laid down for a bit. And everything went away.

I've never had contractions like this so early. Of course, all I could think of were the things that I have left to do before the baby arrives. LOL...not, "oh crap, I'm in labour." No, it was "Oh crap, I still haven't cleaned out the closets" LMAO! What a woman eh?

So, nothing for now. My belly is sore, like I was doing too many crunches. My back is sore like I did too much gardening. And I am SO tired. It's weird.

I really hope this baby waits a little longer!! Crazy as that may sound :)

~Lisa~

My pet peeve about Disney.

Why do they keep making sequels, and prequels, and inbetweenquels, when they can't get the same people to do the voices?!

It's so annoying to have to watch Ariel, and not hear her real voice. Or to have the animals on Tarzan and Jane sound completely off...even Jane for crap's sack...totally different woman.

I really wish Jenna would stop asking to rent the sequels etc. But how is a mother supposed to resisit a gushing four year old "Look Mom!! There's Ariel, and now she's got a DAUGHTER! just like I'm YOUR Daughter!! THAT'S the one I want Mom. PLEASEEEEEE!?"

So come on Disney...up the budget and get those voices back!!!

~Lisa~

Such an odd dream

I dreamt last night that my cat had a kitten. It was a beautiful kitten, calico, my favourite. Her birth was so weird though...and very gross and graphic...I'll spare you.

The weird part is, at some point in my dream, it seemed to turn into Jenna having had the kitten. And there was yucky fluid stuff all over her favourite Princess Aurora nightgown. I don't really remember the connection between to two. But I am going to hold out hope that the cat had the kitten while laying on the nightgown. But something about that seems wrong too?

All throughout the dream, all I could think of was "Hmm...since the kitten was a girl, I wonder if I am having a girl?"

So weird.

~Lisa~

Adventures in shopping

First to the bank. No problems there, the kids were good as GOLD! phew.

Then to Home Hardware, to get the pencil case and lunch bag for Jenna that we'd seen in the flyer. Walk around the whole store, and finally talk to an employee before realizing, oh crap...they were in the Canadian Tire Flyer. UGH! Silently blame Alvin for showing a pregnant woman too many flyers in one morning.

So, on to Canadian Tire. Jenna has to pee...NOW. Of course she does. Why wouldn't she have told me BEFORE we left home. Race to CTC, with her singing songs and telling me fairy tales to keep her mind off things. Ahhh...we made it. After waiting 5 minutes with a dancing little girl for some lady to stink up the ONE bathroom in the place. Ugh.

We found the pencil case right away. Score!! Jenna is thrilled with her new Princess pencil case. Onto the lunch bag. around and around we go. OF COURSE the lunch bags are in the same aisle with the cleaning supplies. How foolish of me to have looked in housewares, and the cooler sections first! So, we get that paid for and I start thinking I should have pee'd when Jenna went.

Off to Tim's for a cookie treat since the kids are being so awesome for me!! 10 minute line up for the drive through, and $1.28 for 3 cookies.

Next stop WALMART! WooHoo, our favourite place. Only a few things left on the list and we'll be heading home for lunch. Not so bad, this day is going great (Did I mention it was just me and the kids? DH is off getting his fender fixed.)

My main objective is a baby monitor. Oh, and pads. The two things I really need before baby arrives.

So, we're walking, and I still have to pee. I get to the monitors and there's 4 to choose from. I made my selection. It seems to great, the sender can be attached onto the pack n play, or the car seat, or wherever. Too Cool!

Now Aidan is covered in chocolate chip goo. Open the wipes container, of course, it was empty. Blame Babysitter. Off to get some wipes. Thankfully, we needed new ones anyway.

Off to get the batteries forthe monitor.

And ouch. That nagging in my bladder has turned into ligament stretching pain. Fabulous. So, we head to the bathroom. Peeing does not help this time. I managed to grind my teeth through finding batteries, and selecting Pads (Why the hell are there so many options?!)

Get to he check out. OH YEAH! I wanted a phone card to take to the hospital, since it's too late to get Bell to send me a calling card, and according to Alvin, cheaper too. Add that to the cart. Grind teeth a little harder against this pain.

So, let's take stock here. I have a monitor, wipes, batteries, pads and a calling card.

Why the Hell is my bill $95.00??? I look, and my beloved monitor was $50 bucks!! whatever, I am WAY too cheap for that thank you very much.

Off to customer service. Sure enough, it's the right price. I can barely breathe through this damn stretching pain. but return the monitor, say to hell with choosing another one right now and we're on our way to the van.

I hate ligament pain. hate hate hate it. By the time we got home, I had to lay on the couch for 1/2 an hour trying not to let my kids see me crying :(

It's so annoying when such a great shopping trip had to be ruined by so much pain. blah.

~Lisa~

It's been a good day.

Nothing particularily special about it. Just a good day.

No humidity to tire me out completely.

Henry was in top form today. His scores were amazing(nothing under 70%). And absolutely NO behaviours. I love days like this. He was pre-testing out of sooo much :) Even his mom was astounded at his progress today :) I really love the work I do on days like this. Autism be damned, that boy is LEARNING!

My kids napped beautifully. And, while I didn't fall asleep today, being lazy on the couch watching Oprah and Ellen was enough of a break :)

Dinner turned out pretty good too!

As soon as the kids are finished their dinner we'll be heading to Wal-Mart to exchange Jenna's school shoes (SOB!) for a bigger size. And hopefully by the time that is all done, Al will be home for some fun and stories.

Ahh...nothing like a good day. Hmm...maybe I'll even finish it off with some nookie! LOL...sorry, couldn't resist :)

~Lisa~

For Julie!

Here's Jenna on her first birthday, and all dressed up as Little Bo Peep for her first Halloween (at 16 months)

It's Ikea Catalogue Day!!!

Hip Hip Hooray!!! Time to redecorate my home in my head!! I've done my bedroom already...for the bargain basement price of $777! That's a new bed, two night tables, bedding, lamps, and a dresser. Not too bad huh? Can't wait for Al to see what I've chosen this year. And to compare what he likes :)

We love shopping in the Ikea Catalogue.

~Lisa~

Just rambling.

So, I can't do the dishes without getting my belly wet anymore LOL. I also can't do them standing straight up, or else I find myself pushing against the counter too hard, and wondering why my belly hurts LOL...oh the mindlessness of a pregnant woman.

I'm into "the teens" now :) Only 19 days until the baby arrives. At first, I was so excited to have the date set. But now, with the countdown edging closer to the actual event, and not just the approximate time nature might decide to push that baby out...I'm getting more and more nervous :) Probably because of all the things I have left to do, or to get. :P I don't think I've ever been more unprepared for having a baby. No bag packed, although I know what I want to put in it. No room all perfectly organized. No coming home outfit chosen with care. No clothes washed in baby detergent awaiting a little person to fill them. I have to get Pads. I have to get a new baby monitor. I have to get nursing pads, and a decent nursing bra might be nice. Oh man. I have so much to do LOL...I guess all i can do is laugh now.

I'm wondering if I should get Henry's parents a Thank you card like I did for Logan's parents. It's a little different this time, as I know I will be returning to them in a couple months. Hmm...just not sure about this one.

I'm really hoping that my husband will get home earlier tonight. I miss him so much when he works late. Tuesday night he got home at 11, and last night it was 12. Good for the paycheques, but the kids and their mommy miss daddy something fierce.

Jenna needs a haircut :P her bangs grow so fast. Not sure if I should do it now, and again before school, or wait...I'll probably get them done soon...she won't be able to see soon LOL

Jenny had a great suggestion for easing Jenna's mind about me going into the hospital. I am going to try and see if the nurses will let me take her around, show here what the place is all about. I'm sure she doesn't remember when I was there with Aidan. Hopefully it will help her!

We're finally getting some rain. And I forgot to put the lid on the sandbox last time we used it. Must be God's way of telling me I'm lazy LOL.

Okay, so this is insanely long and boring, and going nowhere really. Off to make dinner, and pray that my husband gets to eat some of it tonight.

~Lisa~

I refuse to be too hopeful...(totally tmi)

But I am pretty sure I am starting to lose my mucous plug!! Just a little here and there...but it's there!

With Jenna I lost it in stages, over about a week or so...and felt my first real contractions on the way to the hospital to be induced. And was given the pitocin anyway :(

With Aidan I never saw a single sign of it, and had to be induced as well.

COuld it be? Could I maybe go into labour on my OWN this time!? Despite knowing that a c-section is in my future anyway, it would be kinda nice (OMG, who says this? LOL...) to experience going into labour once! Having my water break. Feeling that rush of uncertainty.

I remain impartial. Well...I'll try to anyway :)

~Lisa~

My heart is breaking :(

Poor Jenna. As much of a Daddy's girl as she is...deep down she's still a Mama's girl at heart. And her poor little four year old heart is breaking at the thought of her Mommy spending a few days in the hospital WITHOUT HER.

She's been crying and craying on and off since about 7 tonight. And I just can't make her understand that it's only a few days, and that everything is going to be okay. My mom is coming to watch the kids while I am in the hospital...I thought that would help Jenna...nope...she wants her Mommy. I told her she can call me on the phone...didn't help much. I told her that she could come visit me...that made her want to STAY with me in the hospital. Ugh, back to square one.

I wish I had the magic words to make her understand it all. I wish I could have a natural labour and birth, and be home to my sweet girl in 24 hours like so many other mommies. I wish she wouldn't look at me with those bright blue, red timmed, tear filled eyes with such anguish.

I don't know how to fix this. And it's breaking my heart.

~Lisa~

We had a date!!!

How lovely it is to leave the house, and only need to buckle myself. To only worry about me myself and I, well, and Al of course.

We figured this is probably the last chance we'll have before The Bean arrives, so we took advantage of it a little :)

Went to see The Island. What a great movie!! I like sci-fi though.

It was nice to walk at our own pace. And to hold a hand that fits so perfectly in mine. To not admonish, or worry. To not hear, "Can I have this or that" a million times.

Makes me sad that it's going to be such a long time before it happens again. But it was so nice while it lasted.

~Lisa~

My kitchen smells so good!!

I don't know what got into me, but I was a baking fool yesterday!!

I made brownies first...they need frosting I think, but I looove thier texture. So soft, and chewy. YUM!

Then came the banana bread. Julie has the most wonderful recipe! I made a double batch, so we could have a loaf and some muffins. Just deliscious!!

I love the way my kitchen smells :)

And even better than that, DH kept washing the dishes after I was done!! So there's no grand mess to face this morning. I love that man :)

~Lisa~