No Throttling occured here today

Well, it's all said and done and over for now. And there was no under-educated, under-qualified diagnoses offered today. Mason was brilliant :) I love that boy :) He didn't flick a light switch or line up a car once!! Phew!

She managed to do a more formal assessment of him, and came to the conclusion that WOW! He DOES have receptive language! shocking. **Rolling my eyes here** He is on the low side compared to the average, or just below average, but I'm okay with that, and take responsibility that perhaps I focus on getting his speech improved, and have let his language fall behind a bit. But, now that I am aware, you bet that we'll be working on prepositions and 2-3 step instructions :) (also plays in here the fact that he's the last baby, and sometimes it's just easier to do things for him instead of asking him to do tasks that I need to have done quickly. We'll work on it :))

She said that he definitely has speech and language delays, and also social delays. I'm not sure where I am on that one quite yet. I mean, he's only just 3, and he and C, who we invited to play for the assessment (as requested by Carmen), were parallel playing quite a bit I thought. Mason's eye contact was very low today. Which is a definite social red flag. But then at the end, when she was going over things, she said that his eye contact with C was low...but Mason spent a lot of the time trying to show Carmen things, and interact with her...so I don't know what she was basing her opinion on there. We'll work on that too. AND! When I gave Cory a snack Mason wanted the same thing, and wanted to leave the table where he was working with Carmen, so that he could sit with Cory. Seems pretty social to me...but I don't know... he also spends a lot of time doing his own thing.

I can't wait to get her report. My doctor is getting a copy as well. So I want to set up an appointment with him to go over everything that we've been through the past few months and see what his opinion on all of this is. To see if we need some sort of assessment done.

Al made a good point last night when I was talking about how I thought Mason's eating (or lack thereof) was sensory. Al pointed out that I have a lot of sensory issues as well. I can't stand pudding, because of how it feels in my mouth. I won't touch cotton balls because of the way they 'squeak' in between my fingers. I've been known to cut the tags off my shirts, especially the ones sewn into the side of the shirt. I don't do great with a lot of mixed media noises. like if the TV and radio are on, and then the kids are being loud, it drives me nuts. There's more, but this is supposed to be about Mason :) So, I'm in some ways leaning towards having him tested for Sensory Integration Disorder.

She is recommending him for the speech program (no surprise). That will start in a couple weeks. We are also going on the waiting list for him to get a resource teacher, who will be able to go into his pre-school and discuss ideas and therapies with them to work on with him while he's at school. I'm happy about that one, especially since he'll need that resource teacher when he gets into Kindergarten next year, and hopefully we won't have to get onto another waiting list for that!!

So, I think that's about it. Until I get her report, I won't know what our next step is really.

Scared today

Mason has his in-home speech assessment with Carmen today. I'm terrified about what she's going to say this time. I'm worried that she has this preconceived notion about Mason, and is going to assess him using that :( I'm really hoping that she's more professional than that...but I'm not convinced.

I'll update when it's all over. But in the mean time, I'd love some positives thoughts for Mason. And perhaps Carmen so I don't throttle her if she crosses the line again :)

Because I can't stop looking at them...

I just HAVE to add the cakes I made for this weekend. I am in LOVE with the face of the Baby Einstein caterpillar :)






From these two orders, I got a repeat order from the woman who ordered the Hannah Montana cake. She wants a Lightning McQueen for her son in November, and I got an order for a Finding Nemo cake from the woman that I made the Elmo cake for last year :) I can't believe that I have a very real chance of making this a business!!

Lost in conversation

Last night the kids for some reason were discussing how Humans came to be on earth. Jenna's theory is that we were dinosaurs, and just changed to look like humans. Aidan's was a little more indepth.... First we were dinosaurs, and then we were birds. After that we were squirrels, and then Humans.

Take that Darwin! (And God?)

And later when I was at the grocery store, there was a couple there, and she was probably about 7-8 months pregnant. We were leaving the store, and I overheard her say to her husband, "So, 30 bucks for 112 diapers, how long do you think that will last?" He replies, completely straight-faced, "I don't know, like, 2 days?" and then broke out in a huge grin :) It made me miss that feeling of becoming a parent for the first time, and how everything is so new and strange, and exciting :)

However, after the day I have with C yesterday (the 1 year old), I am well aware of the reasons why we stopped having babies :)

Note to self..

When you look online and see how much cake batter is needed for a 10" round, 2 layer cake, DO Not bake it all in one pan. Your stove is CRAP, and you will end up with a burned outer layer, and runny middle.

off to cry into my cake batter coated dishes now.

Thrilled! And Stuff

Mason had school today. Both of his teachers made a point of searching me out and telling me what a wonderful day Mason had!! They even had a fire drill (Which, Hi! Coulda warned me!) and they both said he handled it really well!! Phew!! I am so happy that we were able to put him into pre-school. I just can't imagine him having to figure out this process with 20 other kids next year. Especially if the school is as disorganized next year as it was this year!

Speaking of that. I'm so grateful that Jenna and Aidan are so adaptable. Jenna was switched into a different class, a 1-2 split class (which she thinks is great, since she gets to be bossy to the grade ones :)), and I love because she has the same teacher as last year, and she's a brilliant teacher!! Aidan has had two different teachers, been switched from A days to B days, endured having 3 classes crammed together into 2 classrooms while they wait for the kindergarten portable to be brought in, and is so popular, that his best friend's Mom switched her son from a different day, and then to a different class so that he would be with Aidan! :) I can't imagine what a hell of a time the teachers are having right now, trying to keep up with everything, learning the names and then the new names, and having to deal with the shuffling of classrooms!

Our school is the over-flow school for Barrie. So we get kids from all over the city in order to make room for everyone. The big hassle this year is that the city decided to close one of the public schools, because it was going to cost too much to repair it, and bring it up to date. So we have all those kids at our school this year, until another school is built and ready for next year. crazy.

Also crazy is my week. Mason has school Monday and Wednesday, I have TWO cakes orders (one pretty big), and to top it all off, I took on a 1 year old in my daycare this week!! Now, he's a great baby, and totally cute, but his schedule is waaaaay different than ours, so it's gonna be a little difficult wither adapting to him, or having him adapt to us. I'm really hoping for the latter, since he'll be here 4 or 5 days a week! It's fun having a baby around again :) He fell asleep in my arms this afternoon. I miss that. I don't have the ache in my arms that I used to get when I wanted to have another baby of my own, but it definitely felt nice having him there :) Actually, it's his cake that I am making :) No pressure huh?! Talk about a test...here, care for my child, who is on a whacked schedule, pick up and drop off a gazillion other kids throughout the day, oh, and while you're at it, can you whip together one of these???


No pressure huh??

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MyHeritage: Family trees - Genealogy - Celebrities - Collage - Morph

McAlendin Look-alike Meter

MyHeritage: Family trees - Genealogy - Celebrities - Collage - Morph

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MyHeritage: Look-alike Meter - Free family history - Family reunion

I have a fairy Godmother ;)

And because of her, every Monday and Wednesday morning I get to take Mason to the most wonderful place in the world..Pre-School. He's been 4 days now and just Loves it there :)

We were advised by the speech therapist at the hospital (the evil one) that Pre-School might be a very good idea for Mason. I happen to have a friend that is a pre-school teacher, so I tackled her in the school yard one day, and begged her to Please let Mason go to her school. Please! She laughed at me, called me crazy (the nerve huh?) and said they had Lots of spaces available, and that the info night was the next night! Whew, cut it close there. So, I went, got the info, got depressed over the initial price, and then down swooped my Fairy Godmother, and granted a wish so important to me that I'll never be able to thank her enough. Ever.

So, Mason's first day there was okay. He ran in without looking back, and seemed thrilled to be there. When I went to pick him up, it was a different story :( His teachers said he'd had a really hard time sitting in circle, and preferred to do his own thing. (Eek) So, they said they would brainstorm, and try to come up with ideas on ways to keep him in circle. Apparently they are brilliant brainstormers there :)

What they did for Mason was give him a little squishy ball. And when he's sitting in circle, he gets to hold it. But when he leaves, he loses the ball. It's worked Great for him! So great in fact that he didn't even need it for the second circle time today!!!!

And in even better news, S told me that she can't believe the change in him! She said from that first day to now, he seems like a completely different kid! I've noticed big changes too :) His speech has Exploded!! To the point where, when we were at my Mom's for her annual corn roast this past weekend, I didn't interpret ANYTHING he said for anyone! Not a single thing!! I didn't have to endure the looks of "Man, there's is something Wrong with this kid!" or the puzzled "What the hell is he saying to me!?" look either! It was sooo nice. He was friendly, and pleasant, he played with everyone, and answered questions from the adults. In times past, with a huge group like that it would have been SO hard for him to function. I am SO proud of my little boy :)

When I was talking to my Dad last night, even he was understanding Mason over the phone! He thought it was Aidan talking! We have our dreaded home visit from Carmen on the 30th, and I am kinda looking forward to it :) I can't wait to show her how he's changed in a month!

In other news, Jenna is doing terrific in school. Aidan is so popular that another Mom switched her son's school days so he would be going on the same day as Aidan! Al is having a hard time at work, and that worries me. He and a few other of the drivers got together and asked for a union to come in. So not it seems as though there's a hit out on his head :( As much as I want their working conditions to improve, and the pay to be higher, if it means that Al loses his job, or isn't being respected at work, it's SO not worth it. Maybe you could keep positive thoughts going his way. He could certainly use them right now :)

And that's us! Oh wait! Me! ummm...I'm just Happy that Mason is doing so well right now. And I am adding a 1 year old to my daycare next week. (Yikes!) AND!! I have TWO paid cake orders for next weekend!! Woot Woot!

That's all :)

Dear Aidan,

Being the middle child, I sometimes get the feeling that you're getting ripped off. That you don't get all the credit or attention you deserve. So this my son, is for you.

I was just downstairs doing laundry. Taking your clothes from the washer to the dryer. And I was not surprised to find a collection of small stones in the bottom of the washing machine. They brought a smile to my face. And today, instead of handing them back to you, or throwing them back outside, I looked at them. And I saw those stones in a different light. In the way that you must have seen them when you chose to add them to your collection. I saw the one that is solid, and brown, with darker brown spots on it. Much like the skin of the frogs you love so much. I saw the smooth flat black one, that had a solid deep dark black line running through it. It looked beautiful, and unique, like you. I saw the one that seemed ordinary, and gray...until I held it, and saw the way it glittered in the light. I saw the pink one, and I know in my heart that you chose it for your sister. I love that about you buddy.

I get more positive comments on you than I do your siblings (Shhh, don't tell them :)) I hear so often that people want to take you home with them, or want to see the world from your eyes, because you are so imaginative, and dramatic, and passionate about everything you do. I see the smiles on people's faces when you're acting silly in effort to impress someone, or get their attention. I know the way you work your way into their hearts, with your simple "Hi, my name's Aidan. And this is my sister Jenna, and my little brother Mason". It gets them every time. The way you would so willingly put your hand into the mother's of Jenna's friends when we would walk to school when you were little. People just seem to Get you, and accept you, and love you, no matter what you're or where we're going.

I hope that you always keep your passion...but I hope that you find a way to control your tears, because buddy...it's not going to work for you much longer :) I hope your spirit stays strong, and that you do great things in your life, because baby, if anyone can, it's going to be you. Keep practicing those hand stands, and try not to get too tired when you colour okay?? Because someday, I'd really love to see the kind of art you may create if you would just put your mind to it :) I'd love to hear a story that you write, because like your father, I think you'll be a brilliant author if you try :) Or maybe it's acting you'll excel at. You've always been the most expressive of the bunch :)

I may not save all the stones you bring home. But I will carry the memory of them. Thank you Aidan. You make the sun shine everywhere you go. And I am so blessed to be your Mommy.

It's not that I didn't have something to blog about....

It's that I was being a completely lazy blogger :)

I could have written about this...



But I was too busy packing lunches, and brushing hair, and organizing backpacks, and laying out clothes, and signing agendas, and writing on labels :) I realized this week why I wasn't excited about back to school like All the other Mom's I know. It's because it's HARD dude!! I have to get up earlier, and be SO much more organized. If there's one thing I've learned about the school year, it's to make the lunches the night before!!! Now, ask me how many times I have already implemented that little gem this year?? HA! One :( Well, at least I still have another 10 months minus one week to get back on track with that right? :)

I could have written about going to see a pre-school for Mason. And about being way down in the dumps, because we just can't swing the tuition right away. (We'd have to pay the first 2 months, plus a meeting fee, plus an administration fee...ouch :( ) If we had thought of sending him sooner, it wouldn't be a problem, but to pay out that much right now, after coming off a summer where I didn't make half the money I had originally thought I would, it's just not an option. Still have some avenues to go down in regards to that though, so we're not giving up on it entirely.

I could have written about the fact that my Mom said she would babysit for an entire weekend while Al and I went on a couples therapy retreat. but when I mentioned that I wasn't sure if we were still going because I have a 1 year old starting that week, and there's no way his mother will be able to get here in time for us to make it to the retreat in time for the start, but that maybe my Mom could still take the kids...she laughed.(Sorry 'bout the run on sentence there) I am so unbelievably hurt. My brother's son lives there. They have a built in babysitter anytime they want. I asked for Nothing this summer from my Mom, in anticipation of this one weekend. And she won't do it if we aren't going to the retreat. I'm really getting the feeling that she's afraid of Mason. Which makes me hesitant to share with her about any of his trials or triumphs. and that hurts. it hurts too much to write about.

But I will share with you that Mason had an incredible week for his speech!!! He said to me a couple nights ago, after I told him to go pee, "No, first I brush a teeth" (He often replaces the word Me with A). :) I was SO happy to hear such a strong sentence. He's getting better at his "I want" requests too, which is really helping both of us...except when it's the 5th time that day that he's said "I want a free-gee" (freezie) :) Because he's not so good at accepting the fact that Mommy has limits :) God bless the makers of sugar free lollypops though!!!

And I will definitely share with you the beautiful friend I have in Julie Bo Bolie :) She so graciously offered up the DVD copying skills of her husband (shhhhh!!!!!) and he copied a slew of the Signing Time DVD's for us. All 5 of us are picking up the sign language faster than I ever dreamed possible. Although, I find I am getting frustrated with myself, for not becoming more fluent, faster :) I suppose it would be different if we were a family dealing with a deaf child. We have the good fortune of being able to speak, and be heard and understood by our child. I think that has made me lazier :P But it's coming. Even my finger-spelling is improving I noticed today. (Though I certainly won't be showing off anytime soon...I still have atrocious skillz LOL) Not that Mason gets that yet, since he's only just 3, and while he knows his letters fairly well, his spelling, well, duh, he's three, he can't spell :) Also against us is the fact that the only people we have to sign to and with is each other, so it's a bit harder to 'practice' like that. But we are having fun with it, and I am SO proud of my children for taking hold of such a wonderfully useful skill :) SO proud :)

Also, Mason saw his regular speech therapist today. I love Lindsey :) She reassured me that she has never seen a reason to refer Mason to a pediatrician. Which is the ONLY way a Speech Path could EVER suggest that they think your child has Autism. I'm not sure how I want to deal with the information that the speech path at the hospital crossed that line. Lindsey told me that if she had done that, she would have lost her job. Ouch. She is in no way impressed with the hospital assessments lately. And said that neither are the other 15 families that have been through the assessments recently. That's gotta say something about the process, no? Lindsey did suggest that we keep an eye on Mason's attention span. I agree with her on that. But that's a whole other blog :) Bottom line is that because we Have to go through the hospital process to get him the help he'll need in school, then that's what we're going to do. But I won't do it quietly if it means he's treated like someone he is not. (unless they can prove otherwise of course)

So, that's all I have to say about any other that :)

I needed time to process that...

Mason's speech assessment didn't really go very well. Not that I am at all surprised that the assessor thinks he has a speech delay, because hey, that's why I took him right? But the way he reacted, and the way the assessment was done, and the way the assessor acted just threw me for such a loop that I needed time to step out of the situation and readdress my feelings on it.

So, here's how it went. We were, unfortunately, a few minutes late for his appointment, which always gives me anxiety, which Mason is Very good at picking up on. So already, both he and I were nervous. We get there, and the receptionist was on the phone (not her fault, I know) but we had to wait for about 10 minutes for her to finish, and by that time, Mason was ready to go explore, or leave, or do anything else. And once we were registered, we had to go out and wait in the hall. At the hospital. Which is rather big, and exciting for a 3 year old who loves to explore. And full of people, most of whom were nice enough to acknowledge his rather exuberant "HI! iiii'm Mason!! ("Matin"). And then of course he wanted to follow the people who responded to him, because he was bored out of his mind waiting.

So, we finally get called in by Carmen, and he was deep in conversation with a seriously sweet woman who was halfway up the hall :) He didn't want to leave :) Drag him into the most boring room Ever. Small table, 4 chairs, a couple pictures of cartoon kids on the bulletin board, and 2 cupboards. So now my very spirited boy is over stimulated by the small room, with nothing in it for him. (In his opinion)

The first thing she wanted to do was talk to me. While Mason had Nothing to do. Uh uh lady. good luck. So I gave him a pen and a piece of paper from my purse. Once he was bored with that, he moved on to explore the room. Climb on a chair, pull on the blind string, flick the lights on and off. (Note, she wrote down that he's obsessed with light switches..after I said he loves turning the lights on and off at home too. **He does it appropriately at home, on in the dark, off at bedtime etc**) Typical for Mason, perhaps my fault, because I believe children deserve the opportunity to explore. Thus creating a child who won't sit and wait for much of anything. I should have brought a snack :( Hindsight.

So, once Carmen was fully annoyed with his behaviour. She decided to start assessing him. She pulls out her book. sets it up, and starts talking with me again. UGH! now he's back at the table, with the pen. Trying to draw in her book (Crap!!). She says "Well, usually we would do a formal assessment for a child over three, but since he's only just three, we'll stick with the informal testing." ya think!? You've totally lost his interest lady!! Ugh!!! Fine, so she Finally pulls around the cupboard with the toys in it. He was SO happy!! And he played perfectly!! Fed the baby, shared with Carmen, put the play food on plates, knew what the milk was, put the animals in the barn, changed his voice for each animal. It was beautiful watching him!! But once he got playing, Carmen went back to talking to me. Every couple minutes she would try to ask Mason a question, and sometimes he would answer, and sometimes he wouldn't. In his defense, she never left her chair. Never got down to his level. IMO, as someone who worked with Autistic children for years, and someone who works with children now, you HAVE to get in a 3 year old's face sometimes!!! He was playing with toys that are new to him, of course those are going to be more interesting to him than an adult he's never met, and who was bossy (In his opinion) about the lights and the chair and the pen!

So, we got through our hour. And she says to me, "I didn't get a very good assessment, I don't think his receptive language is very good (She's on crack, his receptive language is awesome!), I want to do a second assessment of him at home." Which is perfectly fine with me. I know he'll give her a better grasp on his abilities, and disabilities when he's on his home turf.

In my opinion, being able to look back and reflect on how the process was handled, I don't think we got a fair assessment. I think Carmen got an opinion of Mason when he was running around flicking the lights on and off, and she wasn't willing to waiver from that opinion. And that opinion is that my Son has Autism. I disagree. I fully admit that he is a quirky kid. I fully admit that he is a handful, and a ball of electric energy, and that he is very spirited. But I don't believe that he has Autism (Though I also admit to wondering in the past, and if you had been in that room with him, you maybe would have questioned it too.) But he's not. He's social, and he's receptive, and he doesn't flap his hands (unless he's pretending to be a bird, which he did during the assessment UGH!!), he makes eye contact, he doesn't line up his toys, and he plays appropriately. He's smart, but he's not a Savant. So there. :) His hearing is hampered by fluid in his ears, and we are trying different, less intrusive, although slower, methods to stimulate the drainage, and that impairment hinders him in a lot of ways. His speech delay or disorder, whatever it turns out to be, hampers him in a HUGE way, because instead of saying leave me alone, he screams...because he can't get the words out to tell you you're pissing him off. And there you have it. Mama Bear is out, and the claws are going to follow if I don't get a fair assessment!

In a side note, from talking with another Mother who has had both of her children assessed at the same place, the assessment of Mason was done very differently. Carmen was supposed to go behind the 2 way glass and observe him playing. Had she done that, she would have been able to get a much better picture of Mason. Would have seen that he understands everything said to him, can follow instruction, can make eye contact.

So. That's that. I'm still waiting for the phone call to set up the home visit. I'm still waiting on an answer as to what is wrong with my son. And I am still waiting to figure out what the next step is. I hate waiting.