Some of my favourite childhood memories.

1. Walking to the grocery store with my mom. I remember her pushing my brother in his carriage. There was a very long hill, and she would let me run to the bottom and wait for her to catch up. I felt so grown up...I was 3.

2. Camping with my family. I remember once when my brother was about 2...and just toilet trained. We were walking along a trail, and a huge wave came across and knocked him down before he could run across the puddle. He cried and cried and cried. When my parents finally calmed him down and told him it was just wanter, no big deal, he would dry...he cried out in the most pitiful saddest voice "I peed my pants!!!" We laugh and laugh at that still to this day.

3. Toboganning with my cousin Susan. My Aunt and Uncle live on a farm, and my cousin would take Brian and I to this HUGE hill up the road. It always felt like we were flying.

4. Road trips to camping. My mom would make up scavenger hunt lists of things for us to find. There was always a pink house, a red church, a black goat and a green water tower. Whenever I see any of those things I am always taken right back to my childhood.

5. Riding around the block on our bikes. And we lived in the country. That was a hella long bike ride. But it was fun. We would discover so much about each other.

6. Playing in the gravel pit with my friends. We would run and jump off the top and slide down these 50-100 foot hills. Crazy!!! but so much fun.

7. Playing basebell with My George. He was always SO encouraging...even though I am lousy at baseball.

8. my 12th birthday. My mom let us decorate my cake, and we ended up having an icing fight. It was hilarious. And way too sweet!! I'm not sure we had any cake after eating that much icing.

9. Fishing at my Dad's pond. It was just so relaxing. Even though, after 14 years of trying...I still haven't caught a fish!!

10. Skinny dipping in my dad's pond. With a few friends :) And someone mistaking my best friend's white underwear for her boyfriends bum :) She was mortified.

You know...I have been to Disneyworld, Epcot, Universal Studios. The CN Tower, Niagra Falls, Marine World and Canada's Wonderland. But it's the things done at the spur of the moment, with friends and family that really stand out for me.

~Lisa~

No, I have not fallen off the face of the earth.

I have never been a good person for making important decisions. Especially when all the options SUCK. So, I tend to freak out a little...or, sometimes, a lot.

I have come to an agreement with Henry's Mom and Al. I will NOT quit my job. I WILL be giving up 4 hours every other Saturday for awhile.

Am I happy about it? Not really. Do I have any other choice? Not so much.

It just seems to be one of those weeks(months) when everything is against me. Mason has outgrown his infant car seat. Where is my convertible one? In my neighbours car. And where is my neighbour every time I need to take Mason somewhere? I DON'T KNOW. I have asked her many times now to bring it back. And she just called again, to say that she forgot to get hers out of her husbands truck, AGAIN...doesn't matter that I was PROMISED I would have it back by the end of the day. YESTERDAY! I can't wait to see the condition it comes back in. Ugh.

Al got his Vastectomy done on Friday. And we both moped all weekend about the children we won't have. Which is totally retarded, since we know that more children would be crazy, and expensive, and more that we can handle. Al's doing well. Still has some discomfort from the two stitches they had to put in (I guess he's a bleeder)...but other than that isn't complaining at all.

My panic attacks aren't as bad. Only had two since getting the prescription. I still need a vacation...but then, don't we all :)

I had a bad moment with a Freecycler yesterday. GRRR. I emailed to ask if her lot of Barbie clothes were still available. She said "Yes, they are. My address is Blah de Blah at the corner of Blah and Blah. There's a brown fence around the back." Which I took to mean, the items are yours, come get them. So I emailed to say I would be there between 3 and 4. No response. HAHAHAHAHA!! Fool. I get there, dodge the puppy poop strewn about on the walkway, and hold my breath while in they super gross, stinky, messy house. Only to be told "oh. I told Wendy she could have them, since she replied first." When I mentioned that she had sent her address, and told me they were still available, she had no reply. UGH!. I will not be dealing with her again. I even took it upon my bitchy self to email the site moderators. MWAHAHAHAHA! I was feeling particularly catty last night...apparently.

Mason, Aidan, Jenna and I all have colds. Which is certainly not helping anything. I need to figure out a way to tell our daycare lady that I am worried about how every time Aidan is there for even one day, he comes home with a runny nose. One of the other boys there has had a runny nose forever. It's Grrrrross. Any ideas?? I am afraid for Mason :(

Jenna had a birthday party at a friend's house yesterday :) It was so nice to get there and hear her Mom gush over how much her daughter talks about Jenna :) I was so worried about my girl being left out, and not making friends...turns out, she's quite the popular 4 year old :) Even a couple of the boys make a point in saying goodbye to her in the afternoon :)

Aidan is in LOVE with Buzz Lightyear!! I can't find any toys ANYWHERE though!!! I did find a birthday card at Wal-Mart yesterday. So I grabbed that. But no toys :( Of course, his obbsession with all things toys story means that every time he sees a dog he says "Stupid Dog". GREAT! not what I need from my 2 year old!!! LOL

So yeah, that's where we've been. I'm still a grumpy guss...but I am blaming lack of sleep and sunlight.

Love and hugs to all.

~Lisa~

So frustrated.

So, I mentioned in my last entry that I need to make a decision about working. Jenny feels that having Mason there is cutting into her day too much (It's 4 hours...but I am going to try not to be snarky about it...)

I talked to my baby sitter. She'll charge me $25 for the two boys for the 5 hours that they will be there. Which, yes, I know!! Hella good deal.

Until you figure in that I only make $15/hour ($60 a day). And drive 30 minutes there and home. So add about $10 for gas and wear and tear on the van.

I haven't worked for a month, between Christmas, Henry and his mom being sick, and their vacation to Florida. READ: OUCH.

I know...in my heart that it's totally not worth me working there and paying for a sitter. I know.

But I have finally found a job that I really and truly love.

And everyone else seems to think I'd be better off in Tim Hortons, serving coffee. Being miserable. (Side note...I applied there while in College and after having Jenna and never heard back...even THEY don't want me)

Oh yes ladies and gentlemen...it is NOT all sunshine and roses over here. Sure is not.

I want to yell and scream, and cry. But that's not going to do me one damn bit of good.

I NEED to make a decision. Stupid decisions...fuck everything up.

It's so stupid. I knew the day would come when Mason couldn't come with me. I just didn't think it through all the way I guess. 3 kids x babysitting = we's PO folk.

Anyway. This isn't helping. Gonna go sleep on it I guess.

~Lisa~

5 days, 5 people, 5 Doctor's appointments!!

Friday: Al had his follow up appointment with our family doctor. Who does Not believe that Al has an Ulcer!! woohoo!! He figures that because of the stress of Al's old job, it caused some gastric irritation(Or something like that...not sure of the real term). Good news :) He has finished his medication, and is feeling fine :) No heartburn, no racing to the bathroom :)

Saturday: Jenna has pink-eye. Off to the clinic for antibiotic eye drops for her.

Monday:Mason and Aidan. Mason had his 5 month well baby checkup and needle. He's getting SO big!! 19lbs 4oz. and 27.5" long!! Which means he has outgrown his infant car seat(WAH!! SOB!!) since ours is only good for up to 20lbs, or 26". I hate this transition when they're so little. he still falls asleep in his car seat, and it makes it so much easier getting him in and out. Shopping is going to be a huge challenge now. Not sure how I am going to work a cart, an infant who is not sitting up well enough for the front of the car, and a 2 year old that may or may not stay by my side in the store! WAH!!!
Aidan had a wart on his nose. But, since it seems to be getting better on it's own we don't need to do anything for it.

Which brings us to today: Me. I am indeed having panic attacks. While not fun, I AM glad to know that I am NOT having heart attacks, or going insane, or going to die. I have a prescription for Ativan. To take at the onset of an attack. I have also been ordered to take 20-30 minutes a day just for ME. Which is going to be weird...and hard. I am not used to being by myself. But it'll be good for me. I think on nice days I'll probably get out for a walk in the evenings. And when it's still too cold for comfort, I'll probably take a bath...or lounge in bed to read or something. Maybe I'll get a Sudoku book. I talked to my friend Karen, who suffers from anxiety. Her and I are going to go out one evening a week to Tim Hortons, or something like that. Just her and I :) I'm looking forward to that. We have been drifting apart lately, being so busy with our babies...it's time to rekindle that important relationship.

So, that's the update at our house. Other than the fact that Henry's mom doesn't want me bringing Mason with me to work anymore. Which is totally breaking my heart. I am so torn. While I knew this day would come, I had really hoped that he would be with me until at LEAST 6 months old. He's only 5 months :( I also am not sure if we can afford for me to be paying for Aidan and Mason to be in day care. And then come summer, all 3. But, I am pretty sure we also can't afford for me NOT to be bringing in some money. Here's to hoping that Stephen Harper (our new Prime Minister) will hold true to his promise of $1200/year/child under 6...and soon.

Blah. Too sad to think about right now :(

~Lisa~

Cinnamon Buns...A photo essay if you will.

So, Al decided this morning that he was craving CinnaBons. Which, in turn, led to ME craving them too! I remembered Crystal(Sorry, I haven't figured out how to link from here yet...any teachers out there?) had posted a recipe on her blog about Better than the Mall Cinnamon Buns. So, I printed it out, got the few ingredients I was missing from the grocery store, dug my breadmaker out from the fiery depths of the garage(GAH! HATE!)...and went to it...here's what turned out...

This is SO not the Weight Watchers version :) That's 1 cup of brown sugar on there ladies!!

All rolled up :)

All Sliced up :) (Ignore my icky looking baking pan...it's clean!!! HONEST!

35 Minutes later...all raised up...ready for the oven.

Straight from the oven. Hot, Cinnamon-y goodness :)

And the cream cheese icing...Oh...My...GOD!!! Heaven...absolute, eat-it-with-a-spoon GOODNESS!

Before...

About 9.2 seconds later.

The verdict??

YUM!! I can't say they are better than the Mall...but they are pretty damn good :)

~Lisa~

I did it...

I asked Al to make me an appointment with our Doctor.

I, very honestly, had considered not making an appointment. I'm shy, and stubborn, and proud(and not the good way proud). I was too embarrassed about my 'episodes' to call for myself. I'm afraid of looking like a failure. And then, yesterday when I was talking to Jes(My wonderful wonderful friend, whom I WILL meet someday!!!) I couldn't even talk about the attacks without having one. So that decided me. I can't go through life with three children being afraid of having an attack any time, anywhere.

I just wish i knew where these are coming from. I don't feel overly stressed...no more than I have been for months...in fact, I thought I was feeling LESS stressed, because Al has a new job, which he LOVES, I have had a break from working, between Henry and his Mom being sick, and their vacation to Florida. So really, what's to panic about!? I just don't know.

My mom offered a lot of ideas about the stress in my life last night. But those stresses are there all the time, and compared to other stressful times in my life, I'm on a frickin' picnic. I kinda got the impression she thinks this is all in my head, and I'm really fine.

but in reality...I am not so fine. I need to get out of the house more. I need a hobby or something.

I am quite confident that I am NOT suffering from postpartum depression. I do not feel sad, or disconnected from friends/family. I have no thoughts of causing injury to myself or anyone else. I am not crying at all, and my eating habits are normal...except for an increased desire for A LOT of chocolate :) This list for PPD goes on, but really, it doesn't fit me. The list of symptoms for Panic Anxiety Disorder does.

So, I will go to see my doctor on tuesday. And I will be brave as can be...and try not to cry LOL.

I really need to say thank you to the people that offered support, and concern. It means so much to me to know that I have people I can call or email. Love to you all.

~Lisa~

EWW!!!

OR!

In the name of all things gross...

I was holding Mason on my lap, snuggling him, and thinking he needs a bath, because he has been particularily barfy today. And I came up with a witty new nickname for him...Barfy McBarff!! HA!! I stood him up, nuzzled his squishy cheeks...

And then??? He barfed IN MY HAIR!!!

GAH!!!!!

And After THAT!? He looked at me with total innocent "I-am-a-baby-and-can-do-NO-wrong" Cuteness. And all was forgiven.

Still? Ew.

~Lisa~

Feeling not quite myself

For the past few days I have been feeling...weird. I can't really pin it down with one word. I think I am having panic attacks. I googled it and the list of symptoms fits me...


racing heartbeat -- Check...this is what happens first
difficulty breathing, feeling as though you 'can't get enough air' -- Check. I can't seem to take a deep breath.
terror that is almost paralyzing -- More like a fear of mot being able to breath, and not know what is going on
dizziness, lightheadedness or nausea -- Check Check Check. Usually as my heart is returning to a normal speed.
trembling, sweating, shaking -- Check. Mostly the trembling/shaking
choking, chest pains -- Check to the chest pain.
hot flashes, or sudden chills -- none of this
tingling in fingers or toes ('pins and needles') -- Checkish...it's more of a cold feeling on my wrists/lower arms.
fear that you're going to go crazy or are about to die -- Check. The fear of dying a little...I always seem to get the thought that I am having some kind of heart attack.

And after all that I am left with a big headache, and a complete lack of desire to do anything. I feel kinda stoned. I wander around. I sit. I gaze. I feel so strange. It lasts about an hour after the 'attack' and then I am left with a feeling of regret for all that I have said, and not done. As my housework is seriously suffering. I FEEL like I have beeing cleaning and tidying, and keeping up, but when I really look around, the very little I have done is barely noticable.

I've been yelling a lot more than normal. I'm short with everyone. I feel very childish...and whiny.

Blah. I was hoping that writing it out would make me feel better...but it hasn't really. Which makes me even sadder.

I guess a call to my doctor is probably in order. I'm not sure how to do that though. I always take such pride in being a Mother of three, and keeping it all together so well. I'm not afraid to take all three out on my own. I can shop, and walk and get all three dressed in the morning, and it's all fine and dandy. Everyone always comments on how I have my hands full, and I always reply that it's really not that bad most days. I've even told people it's EASIER than having two. and it really is...

I just don't want to seem like I can't do this. because I totally can. And I totally AM!

It's just that these attacks are really starting to throw me for a loop...and I don't like it so much.

~Lisa~

I am not a Pyro!! No REALLY!!!

I swear!! I have given up any and all hopes of ever going near my kitchen again. Seriously. We got these really yummy looking bacon wrapped chicken things. So, I figured, it's Al's first day of a new job, I'll be a nice wife and make a great dinner for him.(Not that I don't often try...) SURE! I should have known from the directions that it was a disaster in the making. "Move rack in oven to one above centre. Pre-heat oven to 500*. Lightly coat baking sheet with oil. " HA!!! NEVER AGAIN!!! Smoke. Everywhere. I tried. I switched to rack back to the centre. I changed cookie sheets to an Un-oiled one, I lowered the temperature. All to no avail. I eventually put them in a frying pan...but it was pretty much a lost cause by then. And in the middle of all that, Mason, who had decided to be awake all afternoon, chose 5:30 to want a nap. NOW...so I burned the first batch of pierogies too!!

The kids ate it. Although...not much of the chicken. Can't say I blame them.

Al and I had McDonalds.

My oven is a Continuous Clean model...meaning I never ever have to clean it. Until now. I'm not sure I'm supposed to use oven cleaner on my oven. I'll have to ask my mom.

And i'll definitely be leaving the nicer cooking to my husband. Who is a genius in the kitchen.

I however, still make a Mean Mac 'N Cheese :)

~Lisa~

Warning. This blog may containt some adult references ;)

So, Al is finally feeling better. SO much better!! No more heartburn AT ALL this weekend!! he hasn't gone a day in probably a year without heartburn. He ate things this weekend that he really shouldn't have...just to see if it would give him heartburn...AND IT DIDN"T :) WOOHOO.

So, I spent the weekend just basking in his healthiness...and various other aspects of him...hehehe...hehe..he. he. LOL...yeah, good weekend.

Yeah...I'm not going to go into it any further. But it was all good.

It's also Al's first day at his new job today.

He was so cute last night. Trying on different outfits, cleaning out his car(Which apparently had become a better place to store my plastic ware! LOL), cleaning his lunch cooler...and being nervous.

I am SO anxious to hear how it went. It's such a big job. But he is SO going to ROCK it :)

~Lisa~

Deep breath in...

and let it out in a big sigh of relief.

Al got home around 1 this morning. The results are a little inconclusive, but the doctor thinks it might be an ulcer.

From reading the WebMD thingy about ulcers it seems right. He probaby has the Helicobacter pylori (H. pylori) bacterial infection. Which he got antibiotics for last night. So, hopefully, with a combination of those and the lack of extreme stress his old job was giving him, he'll be on the mend very soon.

He has to follow up with our family doctor in a week to see what's going on, and if the medication is working.

Thanks for calling this morning Julie :)

I'll update as anything changes:)

~Lisa~

This is Lisa's Brain. This is Lisa's Brain on worry...

Some random things running through my head to pass the time...

1. I wish there was some kind of non-psychotic stalkerish-wife way of checking at the hospital to see where Al is at with the whole ER process.

2. Yes I tried his cell...It's off.

3. Of COURSE it's off. He's at the hospital dumbass!

4. I wish I had walked him to the door. I was putting Mason's jammies on when he left. I wish I had waited. We always walk to the door together to say goodbye. Yeah, we're totally cute like that. Wanna know a secret? I also wait and wave goodbye too :)

5. I hope the ER isn't all crammed with whackjobs just because it's Friday the 13th.

6. We found out we were pregnant with Jenna on a Friday the 13th. I had thought it was more of a good luck day for us until tonight.

7. There's nothing good on TV. Ever.

8. I rode our brand new exercise bike tonight. For over 5 minutes. Burned over 50 calories. Went a couple kilometers to nowhere. Then I got bored with it.

9. I wonder if we'll have a cancellation fee to pay at the dentist tomorrow if Al is too sick to go.

10. I've never(knock on wood) paid a cancellation fee.

11. My new favourite blog is amalah.com. She cracks me up :)

12. But I have never commented. I'm shy like that.

13. I have checked my phone about eleventy billion times to make sure the ringer is on.

14. It is.

15. Of COURSE it is! My mom called me 45 minutes ago.

16. 17. 18. WHERE THE HELL IS MY HUSBAND?!

19. Rolaids Soft chews are good. And yummy. And taste like candy.

20. Mom called at 12:01. Phone is still working.

21. We decided doctors who can't do stitches are over-rated. All that is needed is Vodka. Hold the orange.

22. Okay, it was funny at the time.

23. You know the teacher from The Peanuts with her Wah wah wah wah WAh.? That is SO what stinky Stan's TV sounds like all the freakin' time!! DRIVES ME BATTY!!!

24. 12:25. Still no husband. Still no call from him.

25. Ringer on phone is still on.

26. My bum is numb.

27. I wish I wasn't breastfeeding.

28. I could REALLY use a drink.

29. Hmm...don't think I have ever used alcohol to relieve stress before.

30. How very non-alcoholic of me.

31. 12:29. Still no husband.

32. My mom said something about a 6 hour blood test they do to check a patients' heart. Maybe I'll hear something at 2...ish.

33. Gonna go now.

34. the Number thing is annoying me now.

~Lisa~

Worried about my Alvin.

Al has been sick for a long time now. About a week or so. He's been pretty quiet about it. I ask how he feels, he says "pretty lousy", I give him a hug, and he gets quiet again. The past three nights he's gotten up in the night to come sleep on the couch. Because of his heartburn. Once we started living together for real, we've spent very few nights apart. So I know that this is getting pretty bad for him.

He went to a clinic on Wednesday. The doctor there told him he just had a virus, and an ear infection. Gave him a prescription for the ear infection and that was it. He got some Pepcid Complete. That helped him a little yesterday. Today it did nothing.

He got home at 7:45 tonight. 15 minutes later he was on his way to the hospital. His chest is feeling tight. He's got Constant heartburn, diarrhea again, and his upper abdomen(like just below his chest, not quite his tummy) is hard/spongey(I know, that doesn't make sense...bear with me) and looks swollen to me. I am NOT going to freak myself out by checking the WebMD symptom checker, okay, maybe I will...okay I did.

He's been gone almost 2 hours now. I wish I could turn of my damn brain. Make it stop cycling through the horrid possibilities. Please? Every minute the clock ticks off is one more squeezing of my heart.

If you pray...now would be good.

thanks. I'll update when I can.

~Lisa~

The anniversary...

As I mentioned in my earlier Blog...today is an Anniversary for Al and I. Our first kiss(es).

In September 1998, I met my future husband. He hugged me. And there was an undeniable chemistry there. Not that HE felt it...but from that moment on, I watched for him everywhere I went. Prayed that I would see him in the halls at school. My heart would beat a little faster at the sight of a leather jacket like his.

We got to know each other a little. Spent some time hanging out with mutual friends.

These friends threw a Christmas/finals are almost over/birthday party for me and all their friends on December 4th, 1998. Al was there. There was some drinking. I made it clear, that I was after him. OKAY! So my ACTUAL words were "I am going to sleep with Al!!" I didn't say that to HIM, just my closest friends there :) *blush* Nothing happened that night. It just seems like the beginning to me.

A couple days later(or was it before??) He and I met outside, he was going to a final, I was coming from one. He gave me this goofy red smiley-face ring for good luck. I told him "I guess we're married now huh?" He agreed :) I told him he'd better not tell his girlfriend. He told me not to tell my boyfriend. That's right. We were BOTH in relationships at the time.

My friend and I went one evening to his 'house' (The residence at Canadore College is all town houses) We wanted to say goodbye before the christmas break. I gave him a card...signed it "Your Wife" I'll never forget the look in his eyes. And then he told us that he wasn't sure he was going to be back...wasn't sure if his exam scores would be high enough to keep him in school(He was a nursing student. The minimum to stay in was 75%). I was sooo devestated. I honestly went home and cried!! And two days later when I got the nerve to go back to talk to him, tell him how I felt, he had gone home already.

I spent the entire christmas break worried about Al. Worried I would never see him again. And coming to the realization that no matter how hard I tried to convince myself that my current boyfriend was the best I would ever do...that I was wrong. He was abusive. He was no good for me. He wasn't my future. But I stayed with him. We'd been together for almost 4 years by then.

Fast forward a little to January. Back at school. Our friends and us went out for wings and Beer(how very Canadian of us LOL, but really, it was $6 pitcher night at The Moose(is Loose change lodge)!). We talked, and drank, and laughed, and danced....wow, did we dance!! It was so cold that night. Al walked me home. I was a first year, and our houses were on a different part of the campus. We stood outside my house for what seemed like hours. And we kissed. The smell of beer on his breath will always take me back to that night. The smell of leather too. We kissed a whole lot. I just couldn't get enough of him. He taught me how to kiss. My ex was a HOrrendous kisser, and I guess I just adapted to his style! lol...Al still makes fun of me for it! Anyway. I invited him in (FOOLISH ME!) but he declined. Saying he was "too much of a gentleman". HA lol. He was just trying to impress me. So, I went in. He went home to warm his feet(he was only wearing running shoes!! Poor guy!).

The next day I called my ex, and officially made him my ex. Much to his devestation. It was afterall, the day after his birthday. I know. VERY bad timing. And he tried to make me pay for it. for a long time. Thankfully, I was in love, and determined to not let him ruin my life, as he tried to do for the past 4 years.

My husband freed me from a monster. and for that, I will be eternally grateful.

That was 7 years ago tonight.

How time flies. He's still a great kisser. I'm still just as in love with him.

:)

~Lisa~

I am so getting the Mom of the Day award today. (I've given up on the yearly award, because, well...because, I'll get to that.)

I have become seriously addicted to wraps. Cesear wraps. With Bacon. And Mozzarella cheese. Did you know, when you buy pre-shredded, but oh-so-convienient, cheese, the price is equivilant to paying someone $80 per hour to shred it!? INSANE! But convienient. But I digress...So, I love these wraps! And, as happens in mommy-land have always managed to be 2 or 3...0r 4 bites short of a full wrap. My daughter loves them too! So today for lunch I made her one. I had vaguely mentioned...okay, so maybe it was pretty much a promise...making her one for dinner last night. I decided against it because I KNOW that Aidan would want one, and then not eat one, which would mean making 2 dinners for my son. No Thanks. My 4 year old, of course, called me on it halfway through her Chicken fingers, Fries and Peas.

So. Lunch making time comes along last night. I made her a wrap. I cheated, and snuck in the lunch meat, which my husband has ruined for me, by telling me of the god awful amount of Salt they put in lunch meat. damn him. I like lunch meat. I don't like it as much as I hate my tummy though...so I will avoid it...and eat half a tube of pringles instead. Genius. Digressing...again.

I wish I could have been at school with Jenna at lunch time today. She'll be so excited to see a wrap in there :) and a CHOCOLATE PUDDING!! And I remembered the Spoon!! Oh yeah. MOM. OF. THE. DAY!!!

Why am I not getting Mom of the Year? Well, many many reasons, including (all from today) forgetting to give Jenna her antibiotic dose at Breakfast this morning. Putting a hole in the LAST pair of white tights Jenna owns...on the day I PROMISED that she could wear a skirt. Letting Mason cry a bit while I fed my Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes addiction...they were interviewd by Ellen today. I am all for them. He's gone all Nutjob, but are they not super cute together :) ?

So, this is totally off topic here, but I need to go to the judges on something...How many MINI Cabury cream eggs are acceptable? For a person who really is TRYING to eat well? STOP! Stop thinking of the Bacon and Mozzarella in my wrap!! 2 slices, and a sprinkle! that's all! I want to eat the whole bag, but will resist. So far I've had three today. YUM. The big ones are sometimes too much for me. but those Mini ones...perfect delitable morsels of chocolate!

Well, that's all I've got.

Ciao bella's.

~Lisa~

P.s. Today is the anniversary of the day my husband and I shared out first kiss. hmm...I think I'll post about that later when I have time.

P.P.s, Also the 27th birthday of the boyfriend I had on said day of first kiss. weird. bad me. So happy.

YeeeOUCH!! And some grossness.

I had another wisdom tooth taken out yesterday. Let me tell you...I am NOT a person that uses curse words very often...anymore...but wow...the ones I could use to describe this torture....

I had the first one out in June. It wasn't a big deal at all. Made me a little tired for a bit afterwards, but that was it. I even went to work the next day.

But this one...it broke a bit when Dr. Yankers(no, not his real name.) reefed on it the first time. I was okay, until I thought I detectd a note of panic in his voice when he asked his assistant to suck up the broken bits. I'm laying there, eyes clenched tight, hands clenched tighter, thinking "Dear GOD, I am going to DIE, from choking on my own TOOTH BITS!!" GROSS!!! Luckily Mrs. Assistant(not her real name either) got the bits sucked out just in time. Phew! no dying at the dentist for This girl!! Nuh UH!

He showed me the tooth when he got it out. also. GROSS. It was a lot bigger than I anticipated from staring at my x-ray for long amounts of time. Upside down, it looked oddly like a tooth my dog once lost. Again. GROSS.

I am having trouble yawning today. And of course, am tired as all get out, so WANT to yawn a lot. Thinking about it makes it bad. Trying to do it without opening my mouth makes me want to do it more.

Eating has also been somewhat of a challenge. Blah. What I REALLY want is a nice steak, with some sauteed mushrooms. Not that I could cook it, but to know I could eat it without whining about it would be nice!

But enough about me.

My poor Alvin is sick. He's been spending his evening with a hotdate with the toilet for the past few nights. I don't know what to do for him. And I feel Really BAD about that :( He's a keep to himself kinda sick person. And me being the mothering type...that's not a good combo. DUH. I'm really hoping he'll drag his butt into the clinic tomorrow :( Really hoping.

Okay. off to bed.

OH! Before I go...Big News!

HE LAUGHS!!!

Big, belly laughs :) And mostly for his sister :) "BOUT TIME!!

~Lisa~

Three things!

Thanks for tagging me Jes!!

Three names I go by:
1) Mommy
2) Lisa
3) Honey

Three screen names I've had:
1) Fyrfly
2) HeyTink
3) MamaTink

Three physical things I like about myself:
1) My eyes.
2) My Hands
3) My cleavage(In the right shirt and bra of course!).

Three physical things I don't like about myself:
1) My dough belly
2) My thighs.
3) My bum.

Three parts of my heritage:
1) English
2) Canadian
3) Scottish(WAY way back)

Three things I am wearing right now:
1) Jeans
2) Sweater
3) Underwear.

Three favorite bands/musical artists:
1) AC/DC.
2) Metallica
3) Sarah McLachlan

Three things I want in a relationship:
1) Honesty
2) Humour
3) Compassion

Two truths and a lie:
1) My favourite juice is Orange.
2) I was a vegetarian throughout high school.
3) I've had extensive training for my job.

Three physical things about the opposit sex that appeal to me:
1) Nice smell.
2) Eyes.
3) Smile

Three favorite hobbies:
1) Reading
2) Taking pictures of my family
3) surfing the web

Three things I want to do badly right now:
1) Lose 30 lbs.
2) Take a nap
3) Make my stop yelling at the top of thier lungs!

Three things that scare me:
1) Losing my family
2) falling down a man-hole.
3) Spiders. *shiver*

Three of my everyday essentials:
1) Air
2) Water
3) Computer

Three careers you have considered or are currently considering:
1) Teacher
2) Legal Assistant
3) Correctional Officer

Three places you want to go on vacation:
1) England
2) Costa Rica(Minus the spiders)
3) Australia & New Zealand.

Three kids names you like:
1) Devon James
2) Carter
3) Clare

Three things you want to do before you die:
1) Own a home
2) See my children grow up
3) Drive a Jag.

Three ways I am stereotypically a boy:
1) I can assemble boxed things (sometimes).(Good one Jes!)
2) I can spit really far
3) I think women are beautiful.

Three ways I am stereotypically a girl:
1) I do crafts.
2) I like to shop
3) I cry during sad movies(and books too!)

Three celeb crushes:
1) Ty Pennington!!!!!!!
2) Tom Cruise(As long as he doesn't open his mouth...to speak that is! lol)
3) Angelina Jolie.(Pre-Brad, because I am SOO team Aniston!!)

Three people I am tagging:
1) JulieQ
2) Jenn
3) Julie Julie Bo Boolie

Thanks Jes!!

~Lisa~

Is there anything sweeter than this???

Al got home from work today just in time for Mason to need another nap. He volunteered for the task pretty quick.

His dinner is getting cold.

I'm not going to wake him :)

~Lisa~

10 things about Mason...

This is going to be hard. After all, he is only 4 1/2 months old!!

1. Mason was a surprise. A very big one. Admittedly, Al and I did 'try' for a couple months to conceive, but on the third month decided we really weren't ready for 3 kids, and let TTC go. I know full well that Mason should NOT have been conceived when he was. I shouldn't have ovulated until December 8th or 9th, but KNOW that I got pg. on my birthday, which is December 5th. And! I KNOW that Al was wearing protection. We were just REALLY meant to have this particular baby.

2. Mason was my smallest baby. at 7lbs 9oz. 21" long. He was also the only one I had early. 6 days early, with a scheduled c-section. Which I got very sick from. Although no one really knows why. lots and lots of vomitting after his birth. The room was spinning, and I couldn't even hold my son :(

3. In fact, I was so sick, Mason was about 8 hours old before he was officially named. Which bothered me. We decided the night before he was born that he would be either Cole, or Mason.
When he was born, my first thoughts were: 1. I knew it!! (In response to the doctor telling us we'd had a boy) 2. He's so small!!(Which I said out loud) 3. He looks just like Jenna, (Which I whispered to Al, through my tears) and 4. He looks like a Mason to me (Which I kept to myself, because I wasn't sure what Al really wanted.) When we got back to our room, I would say out loud "The baby" but I think, in my head, I have always called him Mason. I'm glad for that now...he doesn't seem like a Cole, or a Devon, or a Carter after all :)

4. He has blue eyes...with one little gold/brownish spot. I had hoped he would get green eyes like his daddy, but it doesn't look like that's going to happen.

5. He's a Really good baby. Very content. He cries when he is hungry, tired or needs a bum change...and that's about it. Otherwise, he's grinning away at anyone that looks his way...unless they have a camera, and then he tones it down a bit :)

6. He's a little bit tongue-tied. But since he nurses so well, the doctor isn't concerned about...so Iguess I won't be either.

7. He lost a lot of weight after he was born. dropped dowm to 6lbs 13oz...from 7/9. That was scary. But, then my milk came in, and he gained 2 ounces back over-night, so the nurses said we could come home. He seemed so tiny and fragile compared to his sister and brother. But, he's certainly made up for lost time!! He was up to 17lbs at 4 months old. And has very impressive man-boobs. LOL

8. He's my chattiest baby. Loves to babble and coo...and most recently, squeal, at everything, and everyone.

9. He wouldn't take a soother for a long time. We tried a few kinds until we found one that he would take. The only reason I pushed the issue was because he was showing signs of being a thumb sucker...and that's one thing I do not like.

10. He's my last. I cuddle him more. I don't push him to advance as much. And I think I enjoy HIM more. He makes it easy though. He's just so lovable :)

~Lisa~(That was actually easier than I thought!!)

10 things about Aidan...

1. We tried for about 5 months to conceive Aidan. And then found out that we were successful at the worst possible time...About 2 weeks after we had both been laid off from our jobs. It took awhile for me to be excited about my pregnancy. I spent a lot of time sleeping. I'll never quite be sure if it was because of the pregnancy, or if it was depression.

2. Aidan has a very long name...Aidan Alvin Joseph McAlendin. 25 letters long. Al is named after his grandfather, and wanted to do the same for his son. I wanted just Aidan Joseph. When he was born I had enough drugs in me to tell Al the name was up to him...And he gave our son the two middle names. I wasn't sure at first, but I like the flow of it now.

3. Aidan was 8lbs 11oz, 22 1/2" Long, and 9 days overdue. He was supposed to be an October baby. I was convinced he would be born on Halloween, but came instead on November 6th. At 11:59 PM, and 30 seconds. The nurse gave us the option of having his birthdate recorded as the 6th or 7th. We figured since we told everyone that he would be here on the 6th, we'd better stick with that. I wanted very much to have a VBAC with Aidan. I tried very hard to relax and let my body do it's thing. But, I still only got to 6cm and exhausted myself too much to withstand any more labour. And that really was for the best. The cord was wrapped around his neck twice, and he'd already passed some Meconium. I was really relieved to hear his cry.

4. As my Doctor always tells me, Aidan is an over-achiever. He's always been a big boy. Lots of chub as a baby, and always tall for his age. He crawled at 7 months(same as his sister, in the same spot in Al's Grandma's house in Timmins :)) He took his first steps 1 day before he turn 9 months old. That was a sad day for me. He wasn't a baby after that to me :( He hasn't stopped since!

5. He's really into Letters lately. I got him that LeapFrog fridge Phonics thing and he plays with it constantly. And now when we're out and about he looks around and says "LOOK! Letter I" He's yet to be right...But I am so excited about it. I have a feeling he'll need to be challenged at school.

6. He's my most cuddly child. From infancy, when I would nurse him, he would always reach out for my bare skin, whether it be my arm, or my back...He would work and work at getting my shirt up so he could stroke my back. He will still sit beside me, put his arm behind me and ask for cuddles :) He can also be a total bully though!!

7. He loves cheese and popcorn and bananas. Doesn't do so well with Green Beans or meat...unless there's kethup. When asked what he wants for lunch, he will ALWAYS say "Macaroni Cheese"...unless we're near a restaurant of any kind, and then he'll say "Hmm. I'm hungry. Want a cheeseburger samich." LOL We're such a McDonald's family.

8. He has blond hair. Which is strange, since Al and I both have dark hair. But it suits him. He reminds me of a little surfer boy. Pale, milky skin, big blue eyes, bleach blonde hair. I think he's beautiful.

9. He's Very friendly. When we're out and about he's constantly saying to people around us, "Hi, mine Aidan!"(Translation, "Hi, My name is Aidan"). I think the best way to describe him is as a charmer. He's just got this way of looking at you that makes you want to give in and let him have that third freezie. But you don't because you're trying to set boundaries and rules. And then he throws a fantastic fit in which he says "I Mad at you mummy" and the latest, "1, 2 GO TO YOUR ROOM MUMMY! GO TO YOUR ROOM!" He's the perfect boy for grandparents, he manages to suck them in Every time :)

10. So far, he has been my sickest child. He had pneumonia his first(well, second) Christmas. He's had throat, lung and ear infections. And this year he had Croup. But, as we have always called him, he's a tank...you barely know he's sick, he just keeps going and running and playing.

I really love my boy. I try to give him lots of attention since he's the middle child, but I doubt I need to, he's a clown, and gets a lot of attention on his own.

~Lisa~

10 things about Jenna...

1. Jenna was concieved on our 1 month Wedding Anniversary :) It was strange...I just had a feeling that night was different. But didn't really know why. That was the first time in my life that my period had been late. We found out on Friday October 13th. I was 20, in College and scared out of my mind! She came 11 days late. born via c-section, because I didn't dialate well.

2. I call her my 'Survivor' baby. When we were arguing over names, The first season of survivor was a huge hit with us, and Jenna(one of the contestants) really stood out for some reason. So I decided on that name. (Al wanted Emma) when it came to a middle name, we jokingly thought of the other survivors, and decided that Jenna Colleen sounded nice together. and it stuck! Al still wanted Emma though. We decided, if she's born with dark hair, she'll be Emma, light hair and she'll be Jenna. Well, the day came (June 25) and out came this round baby with dark dark hair. I thought to myself, "well, Emma it is then." Just as Al said to me..."I don't think she looks like an Emma" LOL there went that plan. So, Jenna Colleen she is, my survivor baby :)

3. She was my biggest baby weighing in at a whopping 9lbs 3oz! I never imagined she'd be that big!! I blame it on the McDonald's cheeseburgers. I had been a vegetarian for 4-5 years when I got pregnant, until one day when I ate ALL of our food...until Al came home and I made him got get me 2 Cheeseburgers. They were delicious...too delicious!!! And that was the end of my vegetarian days!! What does she get in her Happy Meal more often than not?? Cheeseburgers :)

4. She and I were not successful at breastfeeding. I was young, and uneducated, she was hugry a lot! I tried for a couple weeks, and then realized that for my sanity, and her health, bottles would be better. Although I do SO wish I had stuck it out with her.

5. Jenna LOVES to draw. Not colour, she hates colouring, but give her a stack of blank paper, and a ballpoint pen, and she's happy for hours!! And, in my opinion, for a 4 year old, she's pretty good :)

6. Her favourite colour is Red. But that's just today. The other day it was purple, tomorrow it will probably be pink. And really, any colour that has sparkles on it is BEST.

7. She's a girly girl. In some cases. She loves having her nails painted, and will wear a dress anytime, anywhere...but couldn't really care less if her hair is brushed pretty, or if she slops food on her pretty dresses :) She has the best time playing dress-up. And she throws one heck of a hissy-fit! LOL

8. She's a really good big sister. I saw no signs of jealousy from her after Mason was born. When we had Aidan she slept in our bed for about 2 months...that was rough.

9. She's pretty average academically...but if something interests her, she soaks it all in and excels. I'm glad she's average..but on the high end of average. I think school will be easy for her.

10. She's VERY caring. She worries when people close to her are ill. She's compationate when people are sad. I know she'll make a really good mother some day.

I'm glad that since we're not going to have anymore children, the girl I got is so wonderful.

~Lisa~

Good Day for the most part

Jenna had another Dentist appointment today. She did AMAZING!! I am SO proud of my girl. Dentists scare the crap out of me, and I am 26, I can't imagine what it must be like for a 4 year old! Dr. Mocrae was able to do three teeth today. all in the front, so her smile is getting nicer and nicer with every visit :)

She had the gas again, it makes her "floaty". It was so funny, at one point the dental assistant gave her a gauze thingy to hold...a little while later, Jenna was trying to grab it with her other hand...and totally couldn't manage it!! she was just grabbing for thin air :) Poor Kid! They keep a blood pressure cuff on her so that they can check her before, during and after the procedure. Whenever she got nervous she would squeeze the ball thingy. I guess it made her feel better.

She also had the munchies all frickin' afternoon! Too funny.

I'm still having trouble getting Aidan to go to sleep like he used to. It's so frustrating and heart breaking. He cries and cries. Normally I am not a fan of CIO, but with three kids, I don't have a whole lot of options. I can't sit there and wait for him to fall asleep every night. ARGH!! I need a nanny. It's almost 9:30 and he's still crying. I'm not sure what else to do for him. He has half the toys in the world in his bed. He has every blanket he can think of, a new pillow, music on, a night light(two actually) and still, he will not go to sleep. **Okay, I caved, writing about it, and hearing it at the same time proved to be too much for me. I went and sat in his room. Which was DUMB DUMB DUMB!! Because now he is going to REMEMBER that, and scream holy murder again tomorrow. So frustrating.

Mason is being weird too. He was awake from 3:00 until 5:45. Then he woke up at 6:30 to eat, and went right back to sleep again. And he's still sleeping! I should go to bed, but my kitchen is a horrendous mess and I can't stand it like it is.

Wish me luck...I'm going in.

~Lisa~

They're PLAYING!!

Oh what wonderful sounds fill my home. My children are playing! WITH EACHOTHER!! They play house, they rescue Barbies and ponies and dinosaurs. They pretend to be super heroes and fairies.

And it's great.

There's the occaisional fight, and rare tear, but other than that, they are doing so well.

I even managed to change the TV channel from Treehouse to The Price is Right, and now What Not to Wear!

I can't believe that in 2 years all 3 of my children will be able to play together beautifully.

How I have waited for this time.

~Lisa~

A timeline...to pass the time.

11:10pm -- Time I went to bed.

11:17pm -- Time I finished feeding Mason.

12:25ish -- Time I went to sleep ;)

4:04am -- Time Mason woke up again (WOOHOO!)

5: 29am -- Time it is now. Mason is STILL awake.

ughhhhh. I don't get this boy!! First, he keeps me awake all frickin night to eat(last week), then he's up because he's cold(this week), and now he just wants to chat and play!! And he will NOT go back to sleep, no matter how many times I stick that damn soother back in his chatty little mouth LOL.

5:34am -- Finally! Some signs of tiredness(from Mason, I've had signs of tiredness for4 1/2 years now!)

It really is cute ya know. The way he chats and coos and babbles away at me...even in the dark. His babbling has changed lately. He's gone from "Ah-goooo" to adding in "Mmmm-Bah!", with the occasional "whoooooo" thrown in for fun.

5:36am -- Mason willingly and gladly accepts his soother!!

5:41am -- And he's out :)

Total sleep time for Mommy : 3 hours 40 minutes.

Total awake time for Mason : 1 hour 38 minutes.

Time Jenna will likely awaken?? : 6:00 like usual.

Daddy is sooo taking the early shift today!

Peace out Dudes!


~Lisa~