Al and I, when we were young and foolish, had an inside joke. When we were out and about, and we'd see those mom's in the mall...you know who I mean... the ones dragging their screaming kids up the aisles...the ones yelling at their kids to stop crying already...the ones that look like their heads may explode if they have to spend one more minute inside this mall, with this kid, so help me God... yeah... those Moms. Al and I always called them Mall Moms. And we Always Swore we would NEVER turn into a Mall Mom, so help us God. We've all seen them, right? Ever been one?? Yeah.
We went shopping today. (you can see where this is going can't you?) Mason occasionally has a hard time shopping. He runs away. He cries. He touches things he shouldn't. He knocks over displays. He screams. He dances in aisles. He walks into people. He yells "Stop Touching me!". He hides in the racks of clothes. It's not fun for anyone within a 15 foot radius of him. Especially for him. We had one of those days today.
And for some reason it really got to me today. I'm usually pretty good with having enough patience to sort through these moments. But today I was the Mom begging him to stop crying. I was the Mom sending her oldest child around one side of a rack to help me head him off from the other direction. I was the one grabbing his coat and yanking him backwards. I was the one with the red face, the out of place hair, the dropped packages and the 'if I have to spend one more minute in this mall, with this kid', look on my face.
I saw the looks I was getting. I saw the stares and the shakes of the heads. I could read on the other mother's and grandmother's faces the looks of "God, control your kid already would ya!?" And i wanted to scream at those people. I wanted so bad to look them in face and scream "You try it!!" "you spend 1 hour in this place with a kid that HATES being in here!" "You have NO idea" And then I just wanted to beg them to please, please stop staring. Please.
Because I get it now. For every time I laughed, and joked about Mall Moms, I'm getting it back. And I am so very sorry. It never once occured to me that that mother might not have a choice. That that child may be unable to control his behaviour. That that family may really be doing the best that they can. And if it means looking like your head is going to explode, I get it. And I'm sorry that I ever judged differently. So very sorry.
And I think I decided today that there's something to be said about on-line shopping... for me anyway. Because as awful as I felt being in that place, and getting those stares... I will really never know how much worse it was for Mason.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Appology
Posted by MamaTink at 5:54 p.m.
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6 comments:
I have no words of wisdom for you. I am a "mall mom" all to often. Jusden is unbearable in public and Josh is beginning his own reign of terror. When I see another mom dealing with a difficult child I smile at her. I know how she feels and I know that I would prefer a kind smile when in that position. Next time Mason is turning you into a mall mom just smile. It will be over before you know it.
I love online shopping. I'll choose that over in person shopping every chance I can.
And just remember.. for every Mom giving you the stinkeye there's another Mom who knows JUST what you're going through and sympathizes.
We're all in this together :)
Yep..it's what unites Moms of the world..I remember Gord throwing Joseph over his shoulder as we marched out of Walmart after a throw himself on the floor temper tantrum. We all feel your pain hun...and you know what a good Mom you are. It's all a part of having kids and reemmber it's no reflection on you. When Mason is 13you can tell him all about it and watch as he rolls his eyes. LOL
Got to your blog through Julie Bo's - hope you don't mind my commenting.
I have had those eat your word moments more than once. I knew it all when I just had my first two. And then I knew even more when I had 4, but when my 5th showed up, I was slapped back down to reality and realized I had NO idea! :oP
I think the fact that you now understand is more than enough *apology*. The fact that you can now empathize with women who are doing the best they can says so much about who you are as a person and a mom.
I hope that any other mall jaunts are easier on you, but at least you know that while some people may be judging you on that one bad day, many of us are hoping your day gets better because we've been there! And yeah, on line shopping ROCKS! :)))
There is the way the children act and then the way the parents act.
It sounds like you did just fine Lisa.
I have seen people smacking their little ones and it breaks my heart. It makes me wonder what on earth they do to them at home, if they will hit them in public.
The reason I stare at those moms is in hopes that they remove their kid from the store so he doesn't annoy anyone... Maybe if you leave he'll be quiet? That's what I do, now that I'm a "Mall Mom".
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