For my birthday, I had a couple friends over. L, S, and the infamous K. Now, L and S were Awesome, we have a lot in common, and I think those friendships will go far. K however...talked about herself all night. L, S, and I all felt that she was trying to one up us everytime we said anything. Hell, she even CRIED...at my birthday party...and it was pretty obvious that she was just trying to get attention. It was not a good night.
So, this Friday, S and I decided we needed some girl time. I suggested we invite L, and S thought that would be Great! I am the luckiest person alive, because L and S are coming over to help me paint my living room!! Sweet huh?? Except here's where it gets sticky... what do I do about K? I know for sure that L and S weren't impressed by her. And I don't want a night that could be so much fun be ruined by such a pessimist. (K and I went to the movies last Friday, and it wasn't much fun) But I'm afraid of the wrath that could come from not inviting her.
K was my best friend for almost 5 years. But she's really changed, and I don't consider her treatment of me, or my husband, acceptable. She is still a friend, but certainly not someone I will ever tell any secrets to again, ya know?
What do I do!?? I know she'll be hurt when she finds out that S and L were here helping me. And I am not a person who ever feels good about hurting other people. But I also don't want to put my other two friends in an uncomfortable situation.
What would YOU do!?
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
Sticky situation...
Posted by MamaTink at 6:50 p.m.
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4 comments:
The fact that she's in close proximity makes it rather challenging.
I'd discuss the situation with her before Friday night so it's not something she finds out about and feels you were hiding from her.
I'd basically present it as S and L are coming over to helps us paint on Friday night. It's going to be a zoo with so many people here.. gosh I hope we don't spend the whole night tripping over each other!
This is of course only if you're not ready to have "the talk" with K... I'd likely go that way but I'm generally not good with long term relationships (with a few wonderful and notable exceptions)
oh and if she offers to help tell her how GREAT it would be if she could take the kids and keep them out of your way... dollars to donuts she'll have plans Friday night ;)
I like Julie's idea a lot.
The only thought that came to my mind was saying they dropped by knowing you'd be painting, wanting to surprise you to help?
Good luck Lisa. That is a sticky one!!
At some point you will have to confront your feelings about this person. Lying by omission is still lying. Be honest. It may be a friendship that may have to end. It happens. You want people around you that are positive. poison is as poinson does. It may be hard but in the long run you will both move on and you will know you have been honest.
As people grow and change so do friendships..some end and some continue. It's the way life goes.
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