Rock 'em Sock 'em

Jenna and I came to blows yesterday. Well, more accurately, Jenna came to blows yesterday. I guess with being sick for a couple days, getting up at 4:45 and going to school all day, she just couldn't hold it together anymore.

It started when she came home from school. No one could go near her, look at her or speak to her. She was snapping and yelling and just one big grump. So we left her alone. As much as a 2 year old will leave his sister alone anyway.

Dinner was a disaster. I made something new. Heaven forbid. I thought it was good; Chilli cheeseburger macaroni. She wouldn't touch it. She wanted PLAIN macaroni and cheese. Not hardly two bites passed between her lips. Despite constant warnings and threats that she would go to bed with nothing at all.
I eventually caved and gave her half a peanut butter sandwich and a yogurt. But life did not get easier.

I asked her to clean up her Barbie things that were scattered all over the place. She refused! "I'm watching TV instead" she said to me. I told her she was more than welcome to watch some more TV after her things were cleaned up, but right now she was going to get them cleaned up. Nope. She plunked herself on the floor when I went into the kitchen.

So, I very quietly picked up all of her Barbie things. And put every single thing into a garbage bag. And into the garage they all went.

She didn't make as big of a stink about it as I expected, not at first.

And then she got RUDE. Demanding to know where they were. Telling me I could not take HER things away. Saying she knew where they were and was going to play with them anyway. And that was enough for me. I told her to get to her room. She said NO. I couldn't believe my ears.

That's when I lost it. I half pushed, half carried her up the stairs(She was making herself limp, and wouldn't walk). And then the fight. She tried very hard to get away from me. I had to wrestle with her to get her dress, shirt and tights off. And I had to wrestle with her to get her pajamas on. That's when she really lost it. She was hitting and swatting and kicking. She even got me with her foot on my cheekbone.

And I never said a word. i didn't show her I was madder than mad. I was very grateful for my job...where it's at your own risk to show any emotion during an altercation like this.

She came out of her room a million times, and every time I just took her right back in. Never said a word, just made her get back into bed, and pulled her blankets up, and left the room again. the whole time she's crying and saying over and over "You can't do this to me!!"

It took at 30 minutes of that before she finally gave up and fell asleep.

I know that it needed to be done. But I still feel terrible. My Mrs. Nicemommy routine just isn't enough. Talking through it wasn't enough. warnings weren't enough. Both Al(Who was working late) and my Mom said that it was high time I got more assertive with her. That she was getting close to walking all over me. But I guess I had been holding out hope that her and I could have some kind of understanding, and I would never have to really be the bad guy. Which is stupid, I know.

I guess i worry most that I have made her think I don't love her. I worry that I have broken that bond that only mothers and daughters have.

She was very quiet this morning. But still dawdled and balked at eating breakfast. So really, I have no idea if being the bad guy worked at all.

Sometimes, I really hate being the mommy.

~Lisa~