Ch Ch Ch Changes!!

So...Hi. It's me. Remember me?? Been awhile. Loooots of changes happened while I was out. I was diagnosed with depression, Al and I have had our ups, and Way downs, but the biggest being that Henry moved, I started working with a new family, they turned out to be a bunch of crazies, and so I quit my job!! Now, it's not really as cut and dried as that. But that's the short version. You can skip ahead if that's all you're interested. if not...

So, I worked with L from January to mid-March. His Mom was Crazy!! I couldn't work if I was sick, my kids were sick, anyone in my neighbourhood was sick, or hadn't washed my hands in the past 5 seconds. OKay...so maybe that's kinda pushing it...but not far, trust me! I wasn't getting enough hours to survive. Seriously, I made $950 in January, and my bills equalled $960 with gas and daycare!! I was stressed to the max, and as much as I was falling in love with L...I needed to get out of there.

I had shared my frustrations with my daycare provider. She told me I should try daycare!! I had thought about it, but didn't really know where to start, or if I would like it. Well!! 2 weeks later she called me and said she needed to take a stress-related leave of absence, and would I take over her daycare kids for awhile!? OMG!! I jumped on it. I quit with L on Thursday, and started Daycare in my home on Friday!! Insane!!

So, that's what I've been doing for the past month and a half. I'm really liking it. I see sooo many positive changes in Mason!! I'm not getting more housework done like I thought I would, but I'm playing more, and laughing more, and relaxing more :)

I'm not sure what';s going on with my daycare provider. No one does., Even the Mom's who have asked her don't get a straight answer on if she's coming back to daycare or not. And as far as I know...at least 2 of the Mom's are leaning towards keeping me. (Yay!) I have a 1 year old starting in September, who lives 2 doors down the street! And one of my Mom's has given my number to a friend of hers! So, even if I lose kids back to Laura...I'm gonna be okay. :)

Al and I are working through our troubles. And I think we're making ground. We still have a long way to go. I start counselling in a couple weeks, and I think Al will as well shortly after. I'm happy with that.

Jenna is doing great in school. She's not doing great with Going to school though!! Since I'm home now, she really wants to stay home with me too. So, we've had a few mornings where she's faked sick, and then I sent her to school at the last minute with a neighbour. We promised to get her ears peirced at the end of the year if this nonsense stops...so hopefully we're onto something there.

Aidan is tettering between angel and devil. There are times I want to pull out my hair because he's just being so awful...and times when I couldn't be any more proud of how awesome he is! He's soo smart! Reading already, and he's only 4!! Way ahead of Jenna in that respect. I talked to his teacher the other day about his behaviour at school, and asked if she thought it could be because he's bored, she said no, so hopefully I can take her word for it, and it's just a stage he's going through there.

Mason is still my quirky one. Still doesn't eat much variety, still has many speech delays (And his awful mother still hasn't sent in the forms to have his assessment done! UGH!!) We found out a little while ago that he has some hearing loss. So that was kinda shocking. We have an appointment with an ENT in June to see about fluid in his ears, and possibly getting tubes for him. But that's still such a long way off. Good news is that he's finally sleeping through the night!!! He's still an early riser, but at least it's not 1AM kinda early anymore :)

Al is training to enter a body building competition in October!! I am so insanely proud of him for that!! He's lost sooo much weight!! I see the muscle coming through more every week. He's wanted to do this since high school...so I'm glad he's really taking all the right steps towards this goal :) He really needs a sponsor though...so if you know of any rich uncles out there :)

So yeah, I guess that's about it. I've missed blogging lately. And all my lovely friends in the blogging world. I've been reading though!! And I'm sure the comments will be flowing soon :)

Lisa

Just not into it right now.

There's so much going on right now. But I just can't blog about it all. I'm fine, the family is fine...but I just thought I'd drop a line on my blog to let you all know that I'm probably not going to blog anymore. Cripes...it's been nearly a month since my last entry anyway!!

Love and Hugs to all. I'll see you around :)

Lisa

The one in which Lisa uses a whole lot of potty mouth

The Shiite has hit the Muslim....no? offensive? sorry...that seems to be my game today :) I'll just give it to you straight...The SHIT has hit the Fan!
I'm at my Mom's, who is away camping for the weekend, and asked me to help out by watching my nephew, and checking in on my Grandma, who had surgery last Tuesday, and is still in the hospital. Here's how it's gone so far...
So, last night(Friday) went fairly okay with Damion. Brian didn't cook the pizza like he was supposed to for dinner, but I got here a little earlier than I thought I would, so I gave him the benefit of the doubt on that one...and cooked them. And I fed all 4 kids, played with them, did the dishes, gave all 4 a bath, cleaned up the flooded bathroom(Mason) and then got them all a snack. Damion was WAY over tired, and started being pretty aggressive, so I whisked him off, and put him to bed. He went down NO problem, it was lovely. So then I get my three settled, cleaned up the flooded kitchen(Mason) and got everyone to bed. By the time Jenna finally fell asleep, it was almost 10!! (She's not a fan of sleeping anywhere but her own bed). HOWEVER! My Mom had mentioned that Damion had a rash under his arms, and asked that I put cream on it. NO probelm..except that it's Fucking RINGWORM!!! Seriously!! So, I called Telehealth to see how contagious it is, and how to treat it. Only skin to skin contact spreads it, he probably caught it from one of their NASTY cats, and it's treated with anti-fungal cream, not a huge deal. But still!!! Gross! Poor kid :( So anyway, I settled down to watch Moulin Rouge (Never seen it) and Brian and Philicia come home. So, I talk to them, let them know how the night went, that their son probably has ringworm, and that was that. I fell asleep about 10 minutes later, and Still haven't seen Moulin Rouge!
Onto today(Saturday), It was Brian's job to make breakfast. Wonderful. Except that we didn't sit down to eat until almost 9, and my kids had been up since 6:30. Oh well...I can give him the benefit of the doubt again...he did cook Bacon AND eggs (which he cooked in the bacon grease, and I nearly barfed up). So, off they went to Orangeville, to do some errands, and the kids(only my 3, they took D with) and I had a GREAT time playing in the gazillions of leaves my Mom has in her yard :) I started feeling a little hungry, and decided to come in to look at the clock. It was almost 12. Philicia was supposed to be on Lunch duty today. And Brian assured me they would be home in time to get lunch over with so that I could get out of here to have a good visit with my grandma. Right. I cooked the macaroni, and made Mason a sandwhich(he won't eat pasta). But, by the time I do all that, Mason's too tired to eat. They FINALLY pulled in at 12:45!!! And D was asleep in the car. So, I go lay Mason down for his nap, and wrapped up his sandwhich. I said to Brian "Mason was too tired to eat this, can you Please make sure he gets it when he wakes up??" "Sure, no problem" he says. B & P had gone and gotten a whole bunch of cool craft things to do with J & A while I was gone, so kudos to them for that. I snuck out of here at about 1:15. I had a really good visit with my Grandma...who is doing well...but I wish was doing better! Whole other story...The visit went longer than I intended, so I totally Busted my Ass getting back here, because I was supposed to make dinner for everyone tonight. I made it back here in about an hour...from the hospital in Brampton. I don't think I was exactly obeying the law really...oops! But, I had an obligation, and met that obligation. B tried to tell me, as I was just starting dinner, that they had to be at work for 5. I reminded him that he had told me 6. He glanced at Philicia and said "Oh, right, I guess we can stay." Asshole. But, they went outside and played with the kids while I cooked. Wonderful.
Until I opened the fridge. And there was Mason's sandwich, exactly as I had left it. So, I continue to go about what I was doing, until Brian came in. I asked what time Mason woke up from his nap. He said around 2. hmm...(That only gave Mason an hour's nap...and only gave Brian an hour to FORGET TO GIVE MY SON HIS LUNCH!!) I'd figured that if Mason had had a long nap, they had maybe just given him a snack when he woke up, because of it being close to dinner...but no. So, I looked my brother in the eye and said "So, did Mason not want that sandwich, or did you forget to give it to him". The fucker smiled at me, and said "oh! I never even thought about it" WHAT!? I looked at him and said "You know what? It is Not Cool when my kids don't get lunch. Not Cool, and that's all I'm going to say." And I turned around to finish making dinner. He stormed off. Threw $15 on the table, and said "there, that's the 5 you gave me for the dollar store, and the 10 I owe you for watching Damion" (Background, he told me yesterday that he was giving $20 for watching him this weekend). I told him I didn't need his money, took my 5 and left the 10 there. By this time I've got dinner on the table for everyone.(Except B & P, who said they were eating at the pizza shop) Next thing I know, he's covering Damion's plate with Saran wrap!! I asked what he was doing, and he said he was taking D with them to work. WHAT!? I told him he was being ridiculous, and went to call the kids in for dinner. But no, he was serious. He shouted to P to get Damion in the car. Oh. My. GOD. I LOST IT!
I got right in his face, and at the top of my lungs told him that he was a lazy ASS! that he hadn't done a SINGLE thing that he was supposed to this weekend. That I was sooo pissed off that they hadn't washed a single dish from lunch(I didn't wash them on purpose...wanted to see if they would step up), hadn't cleaned up a single thing, forgot to give my son a fucking Sandwich!! I seriously lost it on him. He tried to tell me he didn't have time, so I not so politely informed him of everything I had accomplished ON MY OWN the night before. There were TWO of them here!! Surely to god they can wash a dish! arg. So then he tried to walk past me, but I stepped in front of him. At which point he grabbed me by the arms, and tried to push me out of the way. So I pushed back. I swear to god, I thought he was going to hit me right then. And I would have killed him. But, he didn't, just told me that I was in HIS house, and I'd better respect him! (FUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!) I got in his face again and kindly informed him that I was in my MOTHER'S home, and I was giving it a HELL of a lot more respect than he EVER had. At which point he stormed out. Taking Damion with him.
Can you believe him!? Can you seriously fucking believe the nerve of him!? I busted my ASS to help them out. I refused to take their money for it. And yet it's ME that's the bad guy. ME!
So, I unfortunately had to call my Mom...her vacation is sooo ruined I'm sure. But, I guess she got B calmed down, because he finally came back with Damion at 9:10, and put him to bed. Didn't say a single word to me, which is fine, because I would have left if he'd started anything else.
It's going to be a very long time before I have anything to say to my brother. I will give my nephew all the love that little boy deserves, but I will not give my brother the satisfaction of thinking that he has won this war. No sir. Although...I don't really know where to go from here with this...I'm lost that way...
I've got everything packed, and I'll be leaving here tomorrow morning as soon as I get get the kids butts in gear...which I'm sure will certainly not be fast enough for me :P
I'm just in shock...which is stupid, because if you knew my brother, and the life he gets to lead, and how seriously fucked up he is...you'd probably say it's been a long time coming. BUt I still can't believe I had the nerve. Finally!!

(And, can I also say, that in the 4 hours I was gone, they did NOT give my kids a snack...which I am going to assume also means that Damion hasn't eatten since breakfast either. Fuckers.)

~Lisa~

The one in which Lisa calms the heck down!!

I'm cool guys :)



Al finally got a clue, and has kicked in full gear to help me with Mason. He's putting him to bed at night, and not letting him out of his room again until Morning...just as it should have been all this time!! He's even gotten out of bed at night when Mason gets up!! Amazing :)



Nap time in the afternoon is really hard for me...but I know it will get easier. I've asked my babysitter to keep him up in the morning, since she was letting him fall asleep whenever he felt like it(not cool...I prefer a schedule for my kids) So, now I get him home by 1 and get him to bed asap. yesterday was brutal. He cried and screamed and kicked the door and knocked on the door with his sweet little fist (hear that? yeah, it was my heart breaking)...and eventually I caved and sat in the rocking chair beside his bed for about 2 minutes, when he finally fell asleep. It took about 45 minutes though :( I'm sooo glad my tenant was home, because he was able to stay here while I went to get the kids from school. Today was better. He only tried to leave his room once...but unfortunately, he pooped, so I had to go in to change him. I sat in the chair again for a minute and he fell asleep right away. My friend was here to stay with him while I went to the school today...I don't know what I'll do tomorrow...I HATE to wake him up, since it seems like Helen (Bless you, I love you) was right, and he Does need More sleep. I guess on the days I have to wake him up to do the school run I'll put him to bed earlier. Hopefully that works.



I've also been better about his bedtime snacks Jennifer!! I don't usually give too many sweets...but he's sooooo picky!!!! It's frustrating!! Luckily, his favourite is popcorn, and that seems to work the best for a bedtime snack. Me and Orville are likethis :)



I'm feeling so much better with the sleep I'm getting. Apparently, I didn't need to clean my glasses to get the fog to clear from my vision, I just needed to sleep!!!!



I'm also FINALLY doing something for ME. I'm walking. Like a maniac :) I'm borrowing my neighbours dog a few nights a week and walking him all around Barrie. I power walked about 5Km last night!!! And I mean, I really booted it for almost the entire time!! It took me 45 minutes...but I felt Great when I was done!! Poor dog though...I wonder if I'll have to carry him home some nights :) He's not used to all this exercise either :) But he did better last night. I'm not far from my goal weight, but unfortunately, after 3 c-sections, and 2 breastfed babies...I am in need of some Serious toning!! So I'm hoping that the walking will do that for me :) Plus it's really nice to get out alone, be with my thoughts for awhile, work out some frustrations :) I really needed this :)

So, I haven't lost my mind. Thankfully, because I'm kinda partial to it :)

Thanks for your Support!!!! Big Hugs!!
~Lisa~

The one in which Lisa looses her damn mind.

So, see that wee little time stamp down there? the one that starts with a 5, and ends with AM?? Right. That's because I'm writing this in the middle of the damn night!! With half the damn light in the house on, and Dora playing on the TV. WHY? you ask!? That's crazy talk you say!? Why yes, yes it is. But I am at the end of my damn wits. That's all there is to it. I've been up since 3 with Mason. Again.

Sunday night, I had the flu. Up half the night praying to the porcelain gods to take me away. Monday night, Mason gets the flu, up half the night trying to soothe his fever and tummy. Tuesday night, Mason has a night terror, up half the night trying to get him back to sleep. Wednesday night Mason has nightmares half the damn night, up trying to soothe him back to sleep. Thursday night, Mason just doesn't FEEL like fucking sleeping anymore, and would far rather drive me batshit crazy. Every night he wakes up, and begs for a drink...and so ask me, how many juice cups I can find now!? OH! That's right. ZERO! None. Not one. The closest I can find is a rubbermaid juice box...those are Not spill proof. I'm sitting in apple juice. I can't even find a damn cup!!! And my damn house is pretty damn clean!!

Mason is 2 years and 36 days old today. Which equals about 766 days. And do you know how many of those 766 Nights I have slept through??? About 14. Yeah...2 fucking weeks out of 2 fucking years.

i don't know what else to try. He has a regular bedtime routine, at roughly the same time each night. He gets a snack and a drink before bed. He still can't make it through the day without a nap...but I'm wondering if I should try keeping him awake all day??? I tried to give him a Melatonin when he woke up at 11:30 tonight(The first time he woke up.) He would have NO part of it. And I'm quite sure that if I try to hide it in something like a spoonful of peanut butter, that he'll just spit it out. If I let him just cry it out(which he wouldn't, he'd Scream bloody murder) he'll make himself sick...trust me, I've tried. I think I'll go to the health food store tonight to see about getting liquid Melatonin. I can just add that to his juice if I ever find his damn cups again.

hmm...I completely caved and gave him some Gravol about 30 minutes ago...and he seems to be drifting off...but now it's almost 5AM, and Al's going to be up any minute, stomping around the kitchen. So, while Mason may be able to sleep through that with the help of the Gravol...I'm stuck watching Dora, listening to Al swear at the things he drops, and throw things into his cooler for his lunch.

I don't know. I just don't know what to think or where to go from here. Mason's such a Mommy's boy...I'm afraid to take him to someone else's house for a weekend and say here...you do it for a couple nights while I get my shit together. Because that hardly seems fair. He just screams even louder if Al tries to do anything for him...because for 2 years it has Always been me to get up with him. But if I don't find an answer soon, I'm not going to be able to function at a level I need to. Especially at work, where I kinda of need to keep my shit together in order to prevent H from getting ahead of the game with me.

Okay, I'm starting to get a headache. because why wouldn't I right?! top it all off like a cherry and whipcream. I guess I'd better take off these whiney pants and get on with the day. I'd like to say sorry for the whining, but hey, my blog, my right to whine if I want to.

lisa

20 Answers...

Not that you've asked the questions...but here are the answers anyway!! :)

1. I have sensory issues with Cotton. As in cotton balls. If there's cotton in a bottle of pills...I can NOT touch it. I've even had to get pharmacists to pull it out for me. I get severe tremors in my fingers and arms if I touch it. Even thinking about it gives me the shakes. yuck.

2. I'm slightly allergic to the adhesive in band aids. It leaves big red patches on my skin.

3. I can not tolerate adult cough medicine, it turns my stomach. The only kind I can have without feeling ill is children's Triaminic. I usually just suffer through my coughs though.

4. My 2 biggest nervous habits are tucking my hair behind my ears, and I unconsciously pick at the skin along the side of my thumbs. If my thumbs are red and raw...it's been a bad day :)

5. I can NOT stand being able to hear people chew.

6. If I'm not talking to you, but am cleaning...I am REALLY angry with you for something...buy flowers.

7. My shoe size ranges from 8-9

8. I cry when I read sad books, and when I watch sad movies...also during some commercials :)

9. I usually wander while I talk on the phone. Try to stay out of my way.

10. I play my music too loud sometimes...especially when I'm in the van, or cleaning.

11. I like my coffee really hot, with 2 sweeteners and cream. If there's no cream, I'll take it with just the sweeteners. (Splenda please)

12. Once I have the kids in bed, I need a good 20-30 minutes to unwind...feel free to bring me tea...and snacks :)

13. I have no trouble eating an entire bag of baby carrots, fresh green beans, Sour cream and onion chips, or microwave popcorn. (But never at the same time LOL)

14. I'm not big on candy.

15. I prefer Table Syrup to Maple Syrup. I'll eat my pancakes with just butter on them if there's only Maple Syrup.

16. I hate shopping for myself, and am Always second guessing what I've bought.

17. I talk to my Mom on the phone almost once a day. If I haven't talked to her in a couple days, I get grouchy :) Conversations are hardly ever less than an hour.

18. I'd really love to own a Pontiac Solstice someday.

19. I don't know how to whistle.

20. I am very sad that I don't own any Tracy Chapman CD's. Also, Jann Arden, the latest Norah Jones("Not Too Late"), and also Metallica.

~Lisa~

Boring.

I'm soooo boring!!!! I swear, I don't know why I can't get on here more often!! Things have happened that are totally blog worthy! Aidan started school on Tuesday!! JK :) he's sooo excited about it. Except for one thing...he was Very upset on the first day when he found out he had to leave his new shoes at school!! LOL...he cried all the way home over that!

Jenna seems to be doing well in grade 1. I haven't really had any chance to talk to her teacher at all, so I guess I'll go with no news is good news. She's happy with her classmates, in with lots of friends from previous years :)

Work is going okay. H is being a bit of a brat...but I honestly Don't think it's the Autism. I think it's the fact that he's almost 7, he's an only child, and he's a boy!! I was nearly pulling my hair out for a couple weeks, but he came around a little today and actually PLAYED (A skill he had lost for a few months) so we're all really happy about that :)

Al's doing good. going to the gym 3 nights a week, and working as hard as ever. He's working weekends now too, hoping to make enough extra to do some additional reno's around the house. I'm sure the renos will be nice, but being a single parent again isn't so much fun at times. But, it's not permanent. :)

I'm doing okay as well. In a bit of a funk. Tired of being broke. Tired of being tired. Tired of waiting for my turn to be here. You know how it goes :) But I'm sure that in time everything will fall into place, and I'll get my chance to shine :)

Hope Y'all are doing well!!

JULIE BO BOLIE!!

I saw these and IMMEDIAELY thought of YOU!!!!!! LMAO!!!

http://www.shoesonashoestring.com/ProductPage.aspx?Style=MAMMOTH.CRO&colorcode=KHAKI%20OATMEAL&dept=FOOTWEAR&brand=CROCS&isFromCart=False&couponcode=PPCCROCS&gclid=CPb-26HPr44CFVB1OAod0lOzaA

You love me, go ahead, you can say it :)

Lisa

On the upside!

I'm so happy to report that Mason is finally starting to be a better boy to be around :) His constant crying seems to have decreased, his vocabulary seems to be growing every day (Finally!!), and he's just happier in general! He's fallen in love with Dora. Which pleases me to no end because it's given me a barganing tool!! Do this, and you can watch Dora! Stop crying and you can watch Dora! It's lovely!

Jenna started grade one yesterday!! I can't believe it!! This is it...when the kids start getting cool, or not cool. When the attitudes from their friends really come shining through (For instance, one of the first things Jenna said this morning? "It's really freakin' raining out there!" WHAT!?! oh no no no my love!! She was sooo nervous about starting grade one!! For DAYS she talked about how nervous she was, and nothing I said could soothe those nerves :( But!! She's in a class with the best grade 1 teacher in our school, she's with her best girlfriend, and the boy she's been in love with since she was 1 :) So I'm really hoping for a good year for her :) Fingers crossed. What I'm not looking forward to is that the routine is Every day now!! I've had it easy for the past two years...going every other day! not anymore!!

And to add to that excitement!! Aidan starts Junior Kindergarten this year!! I am SO excited for him. He's been ready to go to school since last year! It's strange, I was really nervous about Jenna going to school when she started. But not Aidan! I think because he's so outgoing, and so confident. He's far more advanced than Jenna was when she started; I think we were happy that she knew how to print her name...Aidan can do that, plus mosst of the alphabet, plus he knows all his letters by sight, and he knows all their sounds fairly well (Thank you LeapFrog Letter Factory video!)...Jenna was sooo not there by JK! I'm also excited for him to talk someone else's ear off all day long :) That boy always has something to say about everything!! And if he doesn't know...he'll make it up :) Yesterday, we were walking to get Jenna from school, and he was telling me all about how he has the best teacher in the world, and that she's lucky because he's in her class and he's such a funny boy. and he just went on and on about how great she was.....problem is....he's NEVER met her!! LOL We go tomorrow to meet her, and see his classroom, and then he starts next Tuesday. I'm so happy :)

So, that's the kid update for ya! Off to work I go now :) have a great one!
Lisa

Timmins trip journal. Reealllllly long and boring! LOL

August 25
We made it to Timmins safe and sound. Well, safe anyway J The trip started well, we got out of the driveway about 5 minutes behind schedule, I only forgot my shoes and a coat for Aidan so far (I meant to go back to the closet for them). I managed to catch about an hour or so of sleep on the way to North Bay, which was Much needed, since I’ve been up since 1:30AM with Mason L Who, of course, got the luxury of falling asleep again at the precise minute I needed to start getting ready to pack up and go. So I got showered, gathered the few last minute things together, we got the kids in the van and were off.

Made it to North Bay in really good time, stopped for breakfast and coffee (Thank God) and then headed out again. Unfortunately, the second leg of the journey wasn’t quite as smooth as the first. About 40 minutes outside of North Bay, Al got a speeding ticket. Thankfully the cop was kind, and gave him a reduced fine, so it’s not a bad ticket…but still! And then, 15 minutes after that, Mason started crying, and we couldn’t please him no matter what we offered! And then he barfed. UGH!!! So, we had to stop again to get him cleaned up and changed. I thought there was something wrong when I picked him up to get him into the van. He was sweating sooo much L I had hoped that it was just because I had dressed him warmly anticipating the cool morning…but I guess not. My poor boy L. Once we got some Gravol into him he was sleeping peacefully within about 20 minutes, and slept until we got into Timmins.

Jenna, Aidan, Al and I spent most of the rest of the trip watching/listening to the Cars DVD. I love that movie J! And then Al and I took turns picking CD’s J I’m proud to say I know almost all the words to my Norah Jones CD! LOL I’m so in love with her. I totally wish I knew her in real life so that she could sing at my wedding. LOL…whatever J Jenna and Aidan know far too many words from our Mika CD LOL! Their favourite is the Lollypop song. Mine is Big Girls. Fun stuff on that one.

So we get to Timmins. Al checked the trip timer on the display, it took 6 hours and 45 minutes! Awesome time! Considering the two unplanned stops, and me nagging Al to slow down after he got the ticket! We stopped at Al’s Mom’s first. Mason was just brutal there L I couldn’t put him down, he fell off his chair at lunch, constant crying/screaming. There’s a lot of stuff in her house…and I think it was just over-whelming for him…plus he’s not feeling well of course. I guess I finally gave Al the piercing eyes, “we need to get out of here before I lose it” look enough times that we finally headed over to his sister’s house. Mason did Much better there!! It’s definitely more kid friendly. Plus, Joseph (Al’s nephew) wasn’t there…I don’t know why, but Mason just really doesn’t like Joe L Joe’s 11, and of course, doesn’t understand…I feel bad for both of them L

So, now we’re at Noreen’s boyfriends for a BBQ/birthday celebration for Al’s Mom. Which is a bit hurtful, since Mason’s birthday is a day before my MIL’s, and no one has acknowledged that L That’s what this family is like though, so I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised. Mason and I are sitting in the van watching Dora. Because it’s 8:30, and he’s too damn tired to be a cute 2 year old any longer. Dinner was just served about an hour ago. Which I gratefully got to eat…but now Mason and I are out here, and No one invited us in to blow out candles for a combined birthday, I’m pretty much ready to go home. I don’t know, I’m probably just crabby because I’m so tired. And it’s hard on me since Mason is such a mommy’s boy. He won’t go to anyone else. Even Al at times. It sucks a bit. But, we’re here for Al’s family, and it’s more important for him to spend time with them than it is for me to whine about anything.

So anyway, that’s where we’re at so far in our journey to the (not so) great north. I’m writing this in Word, since there’s no wireless connection out here in the boonies. Hopefully I’ll be able to get on when we’re back in the city. I’m feeling very disconnected out here

August 27
Still in Timmins. Ready to go home and get back to normal…but we’re having a better time than the first day we were here! I’d like to personally thank the creators of Dora the Explorer! She’s saved us many tantrums from Mason!! I wish I knew why he was so sensitive to everything. I have high hopes for two! He’ll be talking and communicating so much better, he’ll be toilet trained (He actually peed on the toilet this morning! Yay! Progress!) And if there’s any sort of a higher being, he won’t cry all the damn time!! Hey, a girl can hope!

I went to bed early last night. Tried to read, but I couldn’t focus on the words…so gave up and chose to dream instead J I didn’t move all night…which actually kinda sucked, because the bed we’re sleeping on is hard as a rock, so when I woke up, the muscles on the right side of my body were screaming! I am sooo looking forward to sleeping in my own bed again!

Not much planned for today. Noreen has an insurance adjuster coming over this afternoon to go over everything from the accident, so we’ll probably take the kids to the park for awhile, and then back to Al’s Mom’s so Mason can sleep. I think the best part of the day is going to be tonight…it’s tradition now, on the night before we head home from Timmins, we get the BEST poutine on the PLANET! So, if you’re ever in Timmins (HA!) check out Chez Nous on McLean. Get a Large (if you dare, I can’t finish it though!) Quebec, Double Cheese. Oh. My. God. A whole lot of heaven in that heart attack filled Styrofoam bowl!! Yum!

I was a good girl. Only got the small Poutine J It was the perfect amount. We watched Wimbledon, it’s a cute little chick flick, highly predictable, but sweet, non the less J

August 28
We’re on our way home. We left Noreen’s at 9:25…baring any major catastrophes, we should get home at about 4. Mason’s had his dose of Gravol and is sleeping, Jenna and Aidan are watching Cars; all is quiet on the western front! I wish we could have left earlier, it’s nice to spend the first couple hours sleeping…which I don’t usually do when we’ve left later like this L But, Al, understandably wanted to be able to say goodbye to everyone…something we can’t really do at 4AM.

Al’s Mom has promised to visit more…we’ll see. We hear that every time we come up to visit. She’s a really sweet woman, and I know she means well…but I don’t usually hold my breath hoping they’ll come visit. They’ve only been our way less than a handful of times in 7 years. And once was for a funeral. Oh well. We’ll just have to try to make the most of the visits we do get.

We've made it home, safe and sound. I got to drive halfway home. No speeding tickets, no barfing. It was a good trip LOL. As soon as I can find the camera in our jumble of luggage I'll try to get some pics up!!

I'm happy to be home.

Lisa

Why blog when facebook is so handy!? and other stuff.

I think I have a new internet love. In fact, I know I do. Hi. My name is Lisa. I'm addicted to Facebook. I check it about a gazillion and one times a day. ***Collectively now...Hi Liiisaaaa***

I've found so many old friends on there!! Even friends from public school! it's so cool to see who has changed, and who has stayed the same. Who had kids that I never expected to, who married who. It's fun. Even my husband and I communicate through it! LOL...he leaves me little messages in the morning before work. I respond...and it's nice to use when one is annoyed at the other.

Plus! Let's not forget SCRABULOUS!! Which has been down for a couple days and ACK! The Withdrawl!!

On to other news...I'm starting to feel more human. I went to the clinic on Tuesday evening. I have Acute Acidosis. So, while it feels like I'm dying, I'm actually not. I'm taking Prevacid...but I hope I don't have to for much longer. Ever since I started taking it I've been having the weirdest dreams. It's also making my head feel a bit fuzzy, so that I'm feeling a bit disoriented at times, and my poor ticker is palpatating at a vicious speed today. So, I think I'll take it back to one a day and see what happens from there.

I'm REALLY annoyed with my bank. We have a loan that we took out to pay off the older van, and Al's student loans...at a lower rate. It was coming out on the 14th, but I asked it to be changed to the 28th because that's the day after I get paid and it's easier that way. So, on Tuesday I planned on visiting my best friend and her twins for the day. I stopped off to get gas on the way...Imagine my surprise when my card was declined!! Funds not Available it said! WHAT!! I KNEW there was money in there. Very confused. So, I pay from a different account and went on my way. Down the road a bit it occurred to me what could have happened. the loan came out. And now I'm in a very big negative. NOT COOL! I emailed the woman who was supposed to change the dates, and didn't get an answer back. So, I finally called at 4:20, and got a bit of run around, couldn't talk to my normal person, but was assured this would be taken care of. Finally Did get to talk to C, and she doesn't understand why the date wasn't changed. I personally have a feeling she never filed the request :( So, now I'm stuck waiting to see if they are going to give my money back and then take it again on the 28th like they were supposed to! Buggers!!

Mason's party is on Saturday. Can y'all believe he's going to be 2?! I'm doing a construction theme. Should be fun :) he's SO into big trucks. Whenever he sees a crane, or dozer, or even a larger pickup truck he says "ohhhh! Be tuh!!!" Translation: "ohhh! Big Truck!!!" It's cute :) So, that's what I'm up to the next couple days. I'll post pics...if we take any! LOL...we're bad for not taking pics of the parties...and my Mom is bad for not emailing me the ones she takes!! Vicious Circle :)

Better run. Hope you're all doing well :)

So, I guess it's about time I updated huh??

Where to start?! uhhhhh......

Well, Al went back for his post-op appointment last week. The right side looks really good. Unfortunately, the left side "Has the most impressive scar tissue" the doctor has ever seen! So, because the scar tissue is partially blocking the sinuses on that side, he has to go back in October to have it taken out. Either by having it cotterized or with a chemical peel. Either way? GROSS!!

I did contact my ex. Let him know who I was (like I suspected, he knew it was me). Things are actually going pretty good. We email every day. Keep things fairly light, and we seem to be okay! Even his wife and I are emailing back and forth :) She's a really nice girl. I still haven't decided about the Buck and Doe we were invited to. Al is really leary of S. Also a bit jealous...and I don't want to make Al uncomfortable all night...but then, the other side of me says what's the point of contacting S if I still can't be in the same room as him. Still frustrated I guess. My loyalty is to my husband OF COURSE...it's just hard to put him into a situation that I'd like to be in and he wouldn't. I feel a bit stuck between a rock and a hard place.

So, have any of you ever had an ulcer? or a hernia? I've got this pain, at the bottom of my ribcage, centred, and it feels kinda like someone stuck a lump of hot coal in there. Yesterday was pretty bad, the pain was constant unless I was laying down, and then when I got up, I would belch like a man! (sorry!). It seems better today. When I woke up this morning, I felt like I had been kicked in that spot, and it left a bruise, but then once I ate lunch (Mac N cheese) it came back a bit. I haven't had any caffiene today. Not even the tea I was tempted to make this morning to replace my usual cup or two of coffee. Only water to drink. no chocolate. But, I seem to burp a lot more after I eat or drink. Sound familiar to anyone!? I think I'll have to make an appointment tomorrow to get checked. ****edited to add...I've had dinner now, octoberfest sausages, noodles, tomato and cucumber salad. And a tea. And I'm back in pain again. This sucks so bad :(

Better go, boys are battling it out :)

~Lisa~

Long or Short? Votes? Ideas? Help?

I'm about 15 pounds lighter now than in the short hair picture, so my face is thinner.

Lisa

I realized today how far I've come....

I weigh myself almost daily. Bad habit, I know, but I don't care :) I weighed myself back in April and I was creeping back up to close to 170 pounds. Not cool. At my heaviest, after having Jenna, I was about 185 pounds. And miserable. I'm only 5'5"...that much weight doesn't sit well on me. But then I got pregnant with Aidan, and lost a lot of weight during my pregnancy. After having him I got down to about 155 pounds. I was okay with that then. After having Mason, last summer I got down even farther, to 146 pounds. I was soo happy!! I don't know what happened though. Because the weight went up and up and up. Until I looked like this.

I cringe every time I look at that. blech. lol :)

So, today, we decided to take the kids to the beach. Now, I'm a regular girl. I hate bathing suits as much as the next girl. But, for the sake of my kids, I tolerate them. I even took the time to pick something out this year that I really like. Al took pictures of us all at the beach today. And I am sooo happy to report that when I look at this:

I don't cringe :) I still have a ways to go. About 10-15 pounds I think. And a whole lot of toning. Which SUCKS, because I loathe exercise :) I think I might look into something fun like Badminton...where it won't FEEL like exercise, but will be :) We'll see :) For now, I think I'll spend some time enjoying the fact that I am not cringing.

ETA!! I went to Old Navy this afternoon to return a dress I'd bought that was (!) too big. I couldn't find any other dresses I liked as much, but then, when I went into the jeans area...OMG! I found a pair that I LOVE and they are size SIX!! Ladies...after I had Jenna, I was teetering on the edge of 14...almost a sixTEEN! I am soooo happy :)

~Lisa~

Kid Pics!!!

I hate waiting!!!

I have very limited patience for some things. Waiting, and being late are VERY high on my list. I hate the feeling of being late. Of being off schedule. Of thinking that someone out there is waiting on me to arrive, and I'm about to make them wait longer than necessary! Hate it. I also hate to wait. I hate to wait for people to arrive. I've grown over the years to realize which of my friends are notoriously late, and have adjusted to that.

I hate waiting for other things too. Like my turn in the drive-thru. And a phone call. And payday, I especially hate waiting for that. I hate waiting for emails to come. I hate waiting for my kids to get their shoes on. I hate waiting around while someone else is getting ready. I hate waiting for the Friday paper to come (it always has the good flyers). I hate waiting for my favourite shows to come back on after the summer. I hate waiting for my food in restaurants.

Mind you, I am reallllly good at not showing my annoyance, if there is any, at other people who have kept me waiting, or are going to make me late. So, if for some reason, you're ever late...no worries, because I will realize by the time you get to my door that I am glad you are here. That really, you aren't that late at all. I will realize that I appreciate the lateness, because it allowed me to get some extra things done.

But really, I hate to wait. Especially for things that I don't know are actually going to happen.

~Lisa~

Wow, I'm feeling all special and popular like!

So, I was updating my profile this morning, and saw that I've had 637 profile views!! At first, I was like, WOW! I am SO COOL! and then I realized...If I am so cool, why doesn't anyone ever comment?

So, I'd like to know who reads me!!

Lisa

So, I'm kinda confused...

A little background. About 11 years ago, I was in highschool, and I had landed myself a pretty good boyfriend. We dated all throughout high school, and it was pretty certain in everyone's eyes that we were it. High school sweethearts, destined for forever. And that would have been fine. Except that he turned out to be a little bit crazy. As in like stalker boyfriend crazy. And that wasn't so cool. The summer before we went off to college/university, was okay for us. There were a couple big bumps in the road, but we were young, in love, and could handle it right? no. Once I got to my college, about 1o hours away from S, things happened, and I realized that I was feeling very trapped in that relationship. I was trying to fit into a mould he had made for us, and I just didn't fit! I needed to be free. I needed to have some understanding from him. I needed him to not 'check up' on me all the damn time. But I didn't get that. So, I decided enough was enough, and ended it for good. And then it got worse. S became suicidal, and even more persistant, and omg the guilt trips he tried to lay on me...wow. He even got my parents on his side. That was rough. Especially since I was starting a new relationship with the man I eventually married! It seemed to me that no one from back home was on my side, except for a very loose handful of people, and my very best friend (Thank god for her!!). it seemed to me that most people took his side, and that was fine, because he was obviously sick, and needed that support. So, life went on, I made new friends, got married, had kids, saw S occasionally at functions that my best friend hosted, and that was it. We didn't talk. We didn't look the other in the eye, we tried to stay in different rooms. I'm sure because he was still very hurt and probably angry, and I because I didn't want to hurt him even farther.

Fast forward. I found out that he blogs, and his sister gave me his wife's blog address, and I've been lurking ever since. Recently, he posted about how his old friends had hurt him very badly, and it seemed to him that he was on the wrong side of the chosen sides again. I felt so awful for him, that I left an anonymous comment saying that I knew how he was feeling, and that he wasn't alone. A few more comments between he and I went back and forth, always anonymously on my part. I *Think* he knows who I am, but he won't say so.

I would Love to be able to go to gatherings with old friends and not feel that animosity with him. I'd like to introduce my kids to his and see them play and laugh. I'd like to get past all that heartache. He seems, from his comments, to be willing to do all that, but without knowing if he knows it's me commenting, how do I do that?! He seems to have matured greatly. Which is sooo nice to see.

I don't know. Is it worth it? Will it freak out our mutual friends? is it ever too late? Let me just be clear that I in NO way am romantically interested in him. He was a friend first all those years ago. We had a good thing for awhile, until it soured, and now, I would just like to be in the same room with him without feeling like I am stealing his air. but like I said, I wonder if it's too late.

We were invited to a buck and doe for S's best friend J. A man I once considered a best friend of mine as well. And one who took S's side back then. Who told me that he had no interest in ever talking to me again after what I had done to S. J's fiance is lovely. So sweet to my kids, speaks to me at gatherings, shows a genuine interest...but not J. he never has offered more than the bare minimum to me in 8 years. My best friend sent the invite through facebook...and looking at the guestlist, it looks to me that she invited everyone we went to highschool with...so my name would naturally be included on that facebook generated highschool list.

Al thinks there's no reason not to go...that we all need to get past this silliness. I just wonder if it's the wrong time and place? But since it's a facebook invitation, my name is going to be attached to the event in one of three places...Attending, Maybe Attending, or Not Attending. And I really don't know where my name belongs :(

Part of me is wishing I had never made that first comment, and had never received that invitation. And the other part is hopeful that this is the beginning of the end of the madness.

~Lisa~

GAWD! Doesn't she ever update this thing!?

No, not really. Apparently.

I think life is starting to get back into some kind of normal. Al is attempting to go back to work today, the kids are back at the babysitter's and I'm at home...wait, What? yeah, I was SUPPOSED to be working today, but H's mom called 2 seconds after I loaded the kids into MY NEW VAN, and cancelled...because she realized that H wasn't home...at 10:43 last night....HUH?? How do you Not know that your kid isn't going to be home for therapy when he's been gone all weekend, and tomorrow is Monday, a regular therapy day??? I'm a wee bit cheesed. But will live. I suppose. ugh.

But, on to more important news!!! You might have missed it in the previous paragraph, but I GOT A NEW VAN!!!! and I am SOOOO in love with it!! We got a 2006 Pontiac Montana SV6. It's White, and it seats 7, and it's low km's, and it's such a smooth, beautiful ride. I just love it. I especially love that it doesn't look like traditional Mini Vans do. It's got a sporty grill, and a sporty rear(don't we all wish for sporty rears?! LOL), dark tint on the windows, and I love it...incase I hadn't mentioned that. Also? DVD System!!!! YAY! Dora in the car!!! Woooo!!! We traded the car in, it was just getting sooo cramped in there, with three kids across one seat. It worked for awhile, when the kids were all smaller and didn't bicker as much, but now that they are all getting bigger, and wanting to bring books and toys and stuff everywhere, the upgrade was long over due. We didn't start out looking at vans, although when we saw the Montana's we both agreed they would be nice...I think we were just in denial. We looked at a bunch of SUV's with various sized back seats. But none felt quite as right as the Montana...who at first we were going to call Tex, and then maybe the Full Monty, but I think have settled on Betty, since she's a quieter, more peaceful van than the other names may imply her to be...also? definitely a girl :) And I love her :) And will keep her until I die...or she dies...which she assures me will not be for a very very long time...also? Extended Warranty :)

Al is well on his way to being on the mend. He still feels very dry, and very congested. But, there is gel up in his sinuses and nasal cavaties to help the healing process and keep everything straight...so that can't be comfortable. He's starting to be able to smell a few things again, and has been able to taste a couple really salty foods. I guess that's the biggest downside to having your nose cotterized! :( It's been very nice to have my husband back...for the most part...he's still a bt cranky at times, but we're dealing with that as it comes along. The big baby. :)

We had Al's niece here for a week to help out with the kids and Al if he needed it. That was... interesting...I don't think she was really prepared for what she got herself into. She's, I'm sure, a very good babysitter, as many others have told me...but at 13?? I think my three kids were a bit too much to ask of her. And, she's 13...what does she want with being stuck with three little kids and a sick uncle all day right? She wants to be at the mall! She wants to be with her friends! She probably wanted to be anywhere but here. But, she was some help, and I saved on my own babysitter costs a little, and near the end of the week she loosened up a bit, and Fun Ashley started to emerge. So, all in all, no one died, and for that we are grateful :)

And I guess that's about that!

~Lisa~

ETA: Betty!

A wee update

Al had the packing taken out of his nose on Sunday. That wasn't too bad. He said that he went in to the hospital at a pain level of between 6-7/10. And when we left, he had no pain! unfortunately, the story isn't quite as smooth as that :)

I had been told by the nurse we had Friday afternoon that we were to be back at the hospital on Sunday at 9:30AM. Nope! At 9:10 on Sunday I looked at the appointment form and saw that it actually said 9:00! CRAP! So, we flew out of here, and off to the hospital. Waited for a few minutes, and luckily, being as they are, the doctor was late (PHEW!). So, Al gets the packing removed, which, yes was gross, but not as bad as I anticipated. Unfortunately for him, the whole thing, plus the Tylenol 3's he'd taken made him feel REALLY nauseous. And unfortunately for me, everything caught up with me, and I passed out :( Just for a couple seconds, and because I could feel it coming on, I had the sense to at least sit down before I lost it completely :( I felt just awful because I was supposed to be there for Al, and instead I was on a stretcher of my own :( And everyone thought it was the grossness factor that got to me, but it really wasn't!! I can handle gross!! Really!!! Oh well...it passed pretty quickly, and I was able to get back to Al.

So the next few days after that were pretty uneventful. Until yesterday when Aidan came down with Scarlet Fever AGAIN! Third time for my poor wee man :(

I'm really tired. I hate to show it to Al and the kids though...but it's really catching up with me. But I don't want to complain :) Hopefully only a few more days and we'll be back to normal...whatever that may be :)

Well, better run, I have to get going to work. Thanks for all the support guys!

~Lisa~