I feel like I'm in such a rut lately. At home, at work, at everything. I can't seem to keep up around here. I try, I do the basics, but I can't seem to get farther. Al came home last night and cleaned and cleaned and cleaned. And with each new thing he tackled, I felt smaller and smaller and smaller.
Work is really stressing me out too. I feel like I have taken Henry as far as I can. He's getting bored with me. I'm getting bored with him. I'm certainly not throwing myself into the job like I was a year ago. And Jenny notices. She sent me an email yesterday asking if I thought we should shorten the sessions. ACK! NO! I can't afford to. I love Henry, and his family. I don't want to lose them right now. But I also don't want to waste their time and money if there is someone better out there. Although. good news is that Jenny is paying for me to take a one day course about high-functoning Autistic children. yay!! It's on my birthday too, which is cool, because, yay, no 'work'! lol
I'm not sure this is what I want to do for the rest of my life, but I also can't put my finger on what it is that I DO want.
When I mentioned a career change the other day, I was thinking about becoming a teacher. But then, when I emailed my best friend who IS a teacher, she emailed me back about all the things my happy, shiny mind forgot to figure in. Like how thankless teaching can be, how much personal time it takes up. How I won't always get a lovely little class full of perfect wee children who adore me. But then the happy shiny me, thinks of the hours, and the time off for summer/holidays. It thinks of parents like I know who are invovled, and giving, and awesome for their kids' teachers. It thinks of the 20 smiling faces every morning, and the achievements, and the break throughs. But then, there's the struggling kids, the fighters, the name callers, the ones whose parents Don't care, and Don't help.
This is 4 years of University. This is a huge commitment. And I don't have a clue which way to go on it.
Anyone have a crystal ball they can take a peek at for me? Maybe I should get a magic 8 ball. give it a swirl and hold my breath while that purple goo clears and the 'triangle of truth appears :)
If only.
~Lisa~
Saturday, November 18, 2006
Stuck.
Posted by MamaTink at 2:35 p.m.
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6 comments:
Being a teacher is a great thing Lisa. If you feel a calling for it, I say go for it! My own Hanna has a calling and it is a huge one. She is so excited to get through school to get to the kids. Yes some will need more help than others, but I am sure, especially after helping with Henry, you will be able to help any child that would need the extra help. Hanna is hoping to get into a program (preferably a preschool program) where the parents have to pay for the class. She figures those children won't have so many issues, and I have to agree with her.
I think especially making this choice at the age you are now, it is something you really want to do. You have time, think about it some more. :) The bonus would be to spend holidays/summers with your own children.
As for your friend, a teacher once told me, if you have the want to teach, it will never go away. She loved teaching and she was a wonderful teacher.
What about looking into being a Montessori teacher? I don't think that's 4 years. Might not pay quite as well but might be worth looking into?
Hugs
Julie
The love you have for children would make you a wonderful teacher. You have a huge heart and I know that the days where you will be frustrated with the "bad apples" in the class would pale in comparison to the difference you would make in their lives forever. We always remember the good teachers that cared enough to teach us the importance of caring. You teach that lesson best of all!!
Al
I think teahcing is something that if you need to do, nothing will stop you. The time off though? In theory you will be 'off' but with the enormous amount of planning, setting up, marking, etc that good teachers od, the 'time off' is actually far less than it would seem.
I can drive past our school at weekends and in the holidays and see Isaac's old teacher there hours after everyone else left, she goes in and sets her room up when its an 'off' day. She visits the special needs kids at home on holidays, she makes special books for the kids to ease them into new classes and delivers them at home. Its a calling rather than a job, but something tells me you can do it...maybe when your kids are a bit older though?
I never did get your email :( Just hoping you're gonna bring the kids.. Sarah'd be miserable without Jenna and there's gonna be another 3 year old boy here for Aidan to play with.. Bring Al too so you can have someone else run after Mason ;)
Hugs
Julie
I understand about the callings. I too want to be a teacher and it's true...there are lots and lots of parents out there who DON"T involve themselves in their children's lives. Who don't care.
But those kids need someone who does care so much more don't they? It's heartbreaking work sometimes...but if you can get through to one child, is it worth it?
(hugs) It's a tough decision to make.
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