So frustrated.

So, I mentioned in my last entry that I need to make a decision about working. Jenny feels that having Mason there is cutting into her day too much (It's 4 hours...but I am going to try not to be snarky about it...)

I talked to my baby sitter. She'll charge me $25 for the two boys for the 5 hours that they will be there. Which, yes, I know!! Hella good deal.

Until you figure in that I only make $15/hour ($60 a day). And drive 30 minutes there and home. So add about $10 for gas and wear and tear on the van.

I haven't worked for a month, between Christmas, Henry and his mom being sick, and their vacation to Florida. READ: OUCH.

I know...in my heart that it's totally not worth me working there and paying for a sitter. I know.

But I have finally found a job that I really and truly love.

And everyone else seems to think I'd be better off in Tim Hortons, serving coffee. Being miserable. (Side note...I applied there while in College and after having Jenna and never heard back...even THEY don't want me)

Oh yes ladies and gentlemen...it is NOT all sunshine and roses over here. Sure is not.

I want to yell and scream, and cry. But that's not going to do me one damn bit of good.

I NEED to make a decision. Stupid decisions...fuck everything up.

It's so stupid. I knew the day would come when Mason couldn't come with me. I just didn't think it through all the way I guess. 3 kids x babysitting = we's PO folk.

Anyway. This isn't helping. Gonna go sleep on it I guess.

~Lisa~